Weddings need to be a “should free” zone

In the world of weddings, as in the rest of life, “should” is a dangerous word. As we head into engagement season, I want to address the concept of “should” as relates to wedding planning. A lot of advertising is aimed at to-be-weds about what they “should” do, wear, or even spend on their celebrations. You’ll be happier if you tune out those voices. Let’s talk about why.

If I had been the photographer, I'd have gotten closer to the beautiful bouquet. Photo by Kelly Mendoza
If I had been the photographer, I’d have gotten closer to the beautiful bouquet. Photo by Kelly Mendoza

Think about what ‘should” actually means. If you should, it means you aren’t. That what you are doing, being, eating, choosing, etc. is ill-considered, misguided and sometimes (depending on how dramatic your mother is) fatal. It could be that you’re not doing it right, or that you’re not doing it at all, but whatever it is, a “should” implies you are wrong and bad.

Even full of confidence and empowered by the fact that this YOUR wedding/life, being told that you aren’t doing something right starts to make you reconsider. “Maybe I should do/be whatever it is that I’m not. Should I have thought of that?” And so it becomes internal. Should means aren’t, and eventually it drills down to doubting who you are.

So skip the “shoulds” people! Tempted in conversation? Try:

  • A good option might be to…
  • You know, I had a friend who…
  • If it were me, I would…

Support your friends – to-be-weds and the general public. If it were me, I’d tell them you love them, too.

Be well, and love well.

A Wedding Reception That’s Just Desserts? Yes, Please!

A Dessert Party is a wonderful idea for an event whether it’s a shower, engagement or even a small wedding. (believe it or not, you don’t need sea bass or prime rib to have a great reception!)  A well styled buffet of elegant desserts can be a showstopper. You can go the DIY route, or find a local bakery (like Palm Springs’ own Pastry Swan) to take over. Either way, vary up your offerings – cakes, petits-fours, home-made cookies,


Petits Fours Français : Petits fours עברית: פט...

Live well, and love well



My Little Marital Bliss Shop: Never Stop Dating

Cadillac CTS Coupé Concept
Cadillac CTS Coupé Concept (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Who’s dating your man? It had better be you honey boo boo child, before, during AND after the wedding.  He was beguiled by your charm and fun personality, and fell in love on dates with you. Keep the initial spark alive by still going out regularly- and I don’t mean some kind of obligatory once-a-week dinner that you drag yourselves through. Snooze fest. Think about what you really enjoy doing together, or separately, and have some adventures! You can go as far as a weekend get-away, or stay as close as your own kitchen, but be creative.

Recently I told my husband we were going on a mystery outing. He had no idea where, but loved trying to guess!  He’d been talking for the last few weeks about wanting to test-drive a Cadillac CTS Coupe, so I had found a local dealer, and we went on a “Sunday Drive” to go take a look.  He was very surprised that I would even come up with such a thing, and was thrilled to pieces. The date was a hit because it was something he was really into, and it warmed his heart that I had been listening.

If your imagination is running a little slow these days, The Dating Divas have a website chock full of ideas to spice things up. (No, not that way. Get your mind out of the gutter). They have themed dates, bargain dates, at-home dates for after the kids go to bed… you get the idea.  So go out and get dating!

Be well, and love well.


Enhanced by Zemanta