Thanks to Chris Miller at Imagine imagery for these lovely shots! And of course to the beautiful couple. Our best wishes to all you beautiful lovers out there getting married this weekend!
In the world of weddings, as in the rest of life, “should” is a dangerous word. As we head into engagement season, I want to address the concept of “should” as relates to wedding planning. A lot of advertising is aimed at to-be-weds about what they “should” do, wear, or even spend on their celebrations. You’ll be happier if you tune out those voices. Let’s talk about why.
Think about what ‘should” actually means. If you should, it means you aren’t. That what you are doing, being, eating, choosing, etc. is ill-considered, misguided and sometimes (depending on how dramatic your mother is) fatal. It could be that you’re not doing it right, or that you’re not doing it at all, but whatever it is, a “should” implies you are wrong and bad.
Even full of confidence and empowered by the fact that this YOUR wedding/life, being told that you aren’t doing something right starts to make you reconsider. “Maybe I should do/be whatever it is that I’m not. Should I have thought of that?” And so it becomes internal. Should means aren’t, and eventually it drills down to doubting who you are.
So skip the “shoulds” people! Tempted in conversation? Try:
- A good option might be to…
- You know, I had a friend who…
- If it were me, I would…
Support your friends – to-be-weds and the general public. If it were me, I’d tell them you love them, too.
Be well, and love well.
Check out this pretty party by a posh Palm Springs florist, My Little Flower Shop!