Now That’s What I Call A Wedding Crasher

You’ll see stories from time to time about a couple who had an unexpected guest show up at their wedding – but not in such a bad way. If your uninvited plus one or two is a celebrity, somehow that turns a nightmare into a crazy, fun wedding memory.  There’s a couple who had Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez come strolling down the beach into their tented reception, and then a lovely English couple who found the cast and crew of “The Iron Lady” attending their ceremony. (At least Meryl Streep is well raised – she brought a gift).

But by far, this weekend’s instance of a celeb turning up unexpected (though not uninvited) is one that will be tough to top. This couple invited Queen Elizabeth to their wedding as a bit of a lark, never expecting her to come.  Indeed, they received a polite decline.  But lo and behold, on wedding day, Her Majesty and Prince Philip dropped by to wish the couple well. Now that’s a crash to end all crashes! And such a cute hat, too.
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Just goes to show, you’ve got to think outside the stationery box.  Want The Clintons at your wedding? Cher? Send the invitation. You never know who’s going to take you up on it.  But that also goes for people who get the “obligatory invitations” that you might rather not see.

The take-away: don’t send an invitation to people you can’t stand OR that are beyond your social circle thinking “they’ll never come” because they just might surprise you. Good advice all around, if it’s applied to Barry Manilow, or Uncle Eugene. You’re rolling the dice, and you might end up with a floorshow, but you’re also risking a monologue about the war years in Moldavia.

Be well, and love well!



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Arianna can get herself all in a Huff, but Emily will always be the Post with the Most.

Emily would actually have quite liked Arianna. She’s spunky, and, we imagine, never dull at a dinner party.  The same description applies to Peggy Post, the current Post holding the family post. Peggy has started answering etiquette questions in the New York Times, spicing up the online weddings section. We will be sharing some of them here from time to time.  “But wait,” you might be thinking, “you guys answer etiquette questions on the blog, isn’t she competition?” The answer is no, and here’s why. We freely admit that we don’t know how to properly greet the Queen of Norway. Peggy does.  She also is an enclyclopedia of knowledge about weddings, because it’s her full time job. Resources are always a positive. We liked this question and superb answer because it drilled down into a specific issue about guest lists which we discussed recently. So without further ado…

Q&A: The Well-Mannered Wedding

Published: March 4, 2011

Your Wedding Questions Answered

Planning or attending a wedding, but not sure of the proper way to go about it? In the Well-Mannered Wedding. Peggy Post, a director of the Emily Post Institute and the great-granddaughter-in-law of its namesake, answers readers’ questions.

Who Deserves Plus-One Status?  

My boyfriend and I have had several heated discussions regarding the etiquette of inviting guests with a plus-one. He thinks everyone should get a plus-one, all other factors aside. I think that only guests in a serious relationship (i.e. long term, living together) should warrant a plus-one invitation. Can you settle the debate?

Monica A., Berkeley, Calif.

Let’s avoid sending either one of you to the etiquette penalty box. Today’s standard plus-one is someone who is married to, engaged to, living with and, yes, in a long-term relationship with the invited wedding guest. Beyond these “must invites,” your plus-one decisions will be based on budget and consistency. If it’s only a few and it’s not a budget buster, you might consider asking them all. But if that’s not the case (and let’s be realistic here), come up with a clear parameter. Even so, without a plus-one invitation, some of your single guests may not want to attend. In the end, that’s their choice.

Note to guests: You didn’t get a plus-one invitation and you have a new boyfriend? Be empathetic and don’t take offense. Be happy that you’re one of the “must be there” people on the bride and bridegroom’s guest list.

Can I get an Amen? Thanks Peggy and NYT!