Bridesmaid

Friends Don’t Let Friends go Into Debt To Be A Bridesmaid

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It’s your day, Bride, no question about it.  But take time to think about your friends and their circumstances.  Chances are you know all too well how expensive it can get being a bridesmaid, or even just being a friend-of-the-bride, what with showers, bachelorettes, wedding gifts…it adds up.  Here are some “dos and don’ts” for keeping your friends feelings and finances in mind.

DON’T

  • Keep Up With The Jolies.  Yes, we all read the magazines of celebrity excesses and glamorous getaways, but celebrate in a way all your gals can afford.  Does your entire gaggle of girls need to go to Puerto Rico for a long bachelorette weekend? Does your shower need to be at the Ritz? Keep your expectations within everyone’s budget.
  • Have a Surprise Party.  No one likes expensive surprises.  When your maids find out on wedding day that they owe $150 plus tip for hair and make-up (that is “optional,” but everyone else is doing it), you can’t expect they’ll be feeling celebratory.
Nora and Julie - the world's greatest bridesmaids

DO

  • Be choosy (in a good way). Pay attention when choosing your wedding party.  Did your cousin just get laid off? Does your best friend have college loans up the wazoo? If you think someone might feel less than honored – ask her in a neutral way that allows a graceful “out.”
  • Adopt an attitude of gratitude! Thank everyone.  This seems like a no-brainer, but tell everyone how much you appreciate the love and support.  The more your friends hear this during the lead up to your wedding, the better the experience will be for everyone!

 There you have it.  Keep your friendships together, and everyone’s wallet (relatively) intact.

 Be well, and love well!

 -Dinah

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My Little Wedding Advice Shop: Brides, To Thine Own Self Be True (and Caring)!

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My Little Wedding Advice Shop: Brides, To Thine Own Self Be True (and Caring)!

A bride of ours has had a hard week. Two of her bridesmaids have had “midnight meltdowns” requiring phone conversations into the wee hours. Her work hours stay the same, as always, so she’s tired and stressed out. Not exactly optimal conditions for managing her own wedding planning tasks which are weighing on her, making her more stressed out, so she’s staying up late…it’s a vicious cycle.

For the best wedding day, be kind to yourself in the months beforehand

   Does this sound familiar? Are you a “rock” in the lives of a   lot of the people you know? Well, now that you are in wedding planning mode there’s someone more important that you’ve got to make your number one priority: yourself. It’s hard to say no, and to tell people you can’t be available in ways you have been, but planning a big celebration of a rite of passage is no small task, and comes with stressors of its own, both physical and emotional. You can’t spend your energy taking care of everyone else in your life because there will be nothing left for you.

So we advised our bride to gently ease herself out of the role of “rock,” because she’s got a rock of her own now, and will want all her energy to ride the rollercoaster that is planning a wedding. Good advice for any overextended bride. As RuPaul says, “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are going to love somebody else?” She always asks if she can get an Amen at that point – and I will give one. Amen!

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Living La Vie En Rose: French Wedding Traditions. (Retail, Romantic and Rousing)!

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Oh the French. We all know about the wine, the cheese, and the persistently seductive skunks (who doesn’t love Pepe Le Pew?) But wedding traditions abound! And I’ll highlight three: One Retail, One Romantic, and one Rousing. Let’s dive in.

Retail: The concept of the “bridal trousseau,” the collection of clothes and a bride assembled, was originally a French one, coming from the word “trousse” meaning “bundle.” In Victorian times it became a status symbol to have an elaborate wardrobe prepared for the wedding celebrations, and the honeymoon. Women and society have changed, but outfit-shopping for the honeymoon is a fun way to relieve planning stress. Take your guy with you – you can “bundle” up together.

Romantic: We love this one – guess why? French wedding bouquets are usually quite fragrant (if you have allergies, skip this part) and include flowers that hold special meaning for the bride and groom. Did he pick daisies outside your house before your first date? Sneak one in there. No flower in mind? Use the language of flowers, and whisper it in his ear.

Rousing: This one’s kind of nutty, and more likely to appeal to bridesmaids reading than brides, but I couldn’t resist. Apparently friends turn up outside the happy couple’s room in the night banging pots and pans, singing, and otherwise behaving badly, loudly. And, the groom is, by tradition, supposed to invite everyone in for a nosh.

So there you have it, three ways to make your (or your friend’s/sister’s/daughter’s) wedding more French. One last note: my guess is that in any culture, a rag-tag bunch of guests at the honeymoon suite door would be about as welcome as a relative of Pepe Le Pew.

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