My Little Etiquette Shop: Shuffling Placecards is a Gamble – and the House always Wins

Oh the poor bride and groom.  They slave away in the last busy weeks before their big day, trying to achieve that elusive goal: the perfect seating arrangement.  PlacecardThe one where feuding cousins are on opposite sides of the dance floor, and Uncle Carl the anesthesiologist plays wing man for the med student who’s chatting up a bridesmaid at the next table over. But when the Mr. & Mrs. enter to cheers and glide onto the dance floor, they look around and realize that their careful plotting has been horribly botched.

We know what’s happened.  For years guests have taken it upon themselves to “improve”  seating plans. If they aren’t sitting with a particular friend or family member they do what they believe is an innocuous thing; switch placecards, or “lose” escort cards.  They don’t think about the fact that their seating has been carefully considered. Event staff may intervene – but more often than not, they (wisely) decline to engage this type of personality so as not to ruin a lovely evening.

How can you help?  Simply put, sit where you’re asked.  Period.  No one stays in their assigned seats much after the entree anyway, it’s not going to kill you to wait until cake to catch up with your sorority sister across the room.

The “House Always Wins” part works like this:  karma wise, you’re sealing your fate of future event tables full of Mommies & Me, Aunts Who Can’t Hear, and Uncles Who Don’t Shut Up.  Plus you can count on word of your behavior getting back to the bride/groom or mothers thereof, enshrining your difficult reputation for the rest of your days.  Every Christmas Party, Baby Shower, Barbeque…you’re forever “the one who messed up the wedding.”  Are you good with that? No? Then reign in your inner maitre d’.  Really feel the need to seat people? Open a restaurant.

My Little Marital Bliss Shop: Keep your fiancé from playing the ponies

Brides, soon to be Wives? A lesson in Groom, about to be Husband-handling. Let him ride the big horse.  And let him think it was his idea to go riding in the first place.

Very funny right?  But deep down – the after school special message on this one is share your life with the one you love! One of you is not above the other.  Unless you’re sleeping in bunkbeds.  But that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah.

Have a good weekend! Those of you in LA – bless your hearts- stay off the road!

Think that’s a funny photo?  see more Wedinator

My Little Wedding Tips: Bridesmaid Bulletin – A Happy Bride Isn’t Hungry

We’ve been tweeting a little today about snacks for the big day – essential to achieving bright eyes and that big smile down the aisle and beyond.  While we encourage Brides to plan ahead, we also advise maids to consider keeping the bride supplied with appropriate light munchies one of your wedding day duties, right up there with your classic  bridal emergency kit with aspirin/extra hose/clear nail polish..you know the drill. (one addition we recommend that we don’t see on all the normal lists: white duct tape. Does wonders in dress situations).

Some snack thoughts.

DON’T GIVE THE BRIDE (for the sake of the dress and all that is holy)

  • Anything that makes you feel like you need to wipe your hands off afterwards
  • Anything that drips, melts, or oozes (definitely no chocolate)!
  • Anything too strong tasting (spicy, garlicky, etc)
  • Anything she hates/might be allergic to.  Check with her in advance!
  • Dry, unsalted nuts such as almonds or walnuts.

DO KEEP ON HAND

    • A planned time for a small sandwich or salad with chopped egg BEFORE the dress/makeup go on.
    • Lots of water – and straws for sipping without disturbing make-up/hair
    • healthy, portable, small serving snacks: baby carrots, almonds, string cheese.  Nature Valley granola bars are great too. No fancy flavors – just the plain ones.

Healthy snack

Last, we know that some in some families and some cultures there is a toast or drink before the ceremony.  We encourage brides and their maids to sip, and wait until after the formalities to celebrate.  Be present for this moment – it’s a big one.

Snack on, everyone!