Flowers

My Little Etiquette Shop: Lessons Learned at…a funeral?

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Last week was quite a week. A fair bit of time was given to supporting a grieving family who lost their mother, our neighbor.

Her funeral brought out my contemplative side.  The service was unique, in that the rabbi thought he was a stand up comedian.  At first I braced myself: this was a train wreck.  Knowing he wasn’t someone who knew the family well, but had met with them briefly the day before, I dreaded where he was going with his goofy humor.  However, bit by bit, he charmed everyone in the room (myself included) with his puns, and the way he spoke more about the people present than the one who was gone. He really brought her to life in the way he “riffed” on each meaningful relationship, right down to mock-lecturing her son’s boss saying, “keep an eye on him.”

I love and respect Jewish culture, our wedding was quite traditional. But, as an employee at a floral design studio, and lover of flowers I am comforted by flowers at funerals, which are contrary to Jewish tradition. (I’ll let wiser folk explain).  One woman at the service brought flowers, completely innocently.  The same jovial rabbi spoke a little too sharply to her for my taste about the fact that they were “not allowed.”  From the row behind her, it looked like she felt bad. I often mangle Emily Post’s famous quote about how keeping people comfortable around you makes your behavior proper, no matter what. We’ll make the exact quote lesson 1 from yesterday, followed by the other two.

1) Mind your manners “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” -Emily Post.  Don’t make people feel bad, especially in a sensitive situation like a funeral. <ahem Rabbi…>

2) Trust a professional to do their job. That Rabbi wasn’t going to risk corny humor if he didn’t know where he was going with it, and that he would be able to touch people. Have a little faith, and even when things seem like they are going wrong, they are most likely going to turn in the right direction.

2) Laugh when you want to cry. This is of course a very serious application of that principle.  But it applies in so many situations. If you reflexively tear up in response to a bizarre/awful/terrible/shocking event in your life, take a deep breath, and try to reframe. There’s got to be something funny about what happened. You just have to find that piece of it and let it tickle you.  It takes the air out of almost anything, and you can begin to put the pieces back together.

Have a happy, grateful week everyone! Count your blessings.

Be well, and love well.

Dinah

 

 

What Really Counts At My Little Flower Shop? Giving Back.

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What a week! As many of you know, El Jefe, the Big Man On Campus, our Fearless Leader, AKA Gregory Goodman, turned 50 on Wednesday.  There was quite a celebration.  Alan, Head Designer, and all around terrific husband, made sure Greg’s party at The Fix on El Paseo was classy, fun and beautifully decorated.  Friends came to celebrate from near and far, and the cake was phenomenal, as one might have known since The Fix is attached to The Pastry Swan’s retail location. Oooh, I can still taste that cake.

Al raises a glass to his gorgeous 50th birthday arrangement at Fix

But as Greg told me later, something else also meant a lot to him that day.  He helped a friend decorate a table** at her daughter’s high school graduation. He said “It wasn’t a big deal – some mirrors, and a couple things styled in a fun way” but he went on to explain he felt it had been for a girl who really achieved something.  “She and her family worked hard for that diploma. And her family was so proud – and I was too, and I got to help that happen with what I love to do.”  So for Gregory, an important gift he got on Wednesday was, in fact, one he gave away: help, support and encouragement to someone else.

It got me thinking – Greg gives a lot, to a lot of people. And that’s the secret to his happiness and positive attitude. He gave me and Stephen 150% of his time, energy and love when we got married in 2010. And he gives that kind of focus to all his brides; I’ve seen the tough businessman cry at many a wedding he attends. He’s given second chances. I’ve known him to hire people that many businesses wouldn’t, and to get great work (and great loyalty) out of them. He gives so much to the Wedding Warriors – and to making sure his friends and associates get business from his clients. The guests at his party certainly reflected that. He always shares his success.

So that’s what I’m thinking about today. Gregory’s birthday gift of giving. And it reminds me that there is always a gift to be given that is from the heart. And sometimes it’s just showing up, and doing what you love.

Be well, and love well.

-Dinah

* * We would have liked to include a photo of the table. Unfortunately we used a linen from TE Couture Linen that we had in the shop as a sample, and they were upset. We would like to use this space to publicly apologize, we are sorry they were unhappy that we did not make advance arrangements for a contract to donate use of the tablecloth sample. We regret that they have chosen to no longer do business with My Little Flower Shop, and hope to remedy that situation.

 

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Some advice for Brides from the Wise Folks at Weight Watchers (Seriously – Jennifer Hudson still looks phenomenal).

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I’ve written before about how Weight Watchers is the greatest thing since sliced bread.  So imagine how awesome it is when sliced bread writes an article about Brides surviving the to-be-wed parties without needing last minute dress alterations for the big day! Super awesome, right? Of course I have to share. Oh – and Jessica Simpson just signed on as a new spokesgal.  Bye bye baby weight, hello gorgeous bride! She didn’t do it in the traditional order, bless her heart.  Do we care? Nah. You go Jess.

Rules of Engagement

(reposted from WeightWatchers.com)

Want to enjoy all the you-centric parties leading up to your wedding while also sticking to your weight-loss goals? We’ll show you how.
Article By: Hillary Quinn
Rules of Engagement

It’s a cruel irony: The months leading up to your wedding are filled with food- and beverage-centric celebrations, just as you are trying to get in your best bridal shape for the big day. The moment that rock hits your finger, the food fest begins… champagne toasts, engagement parties, bridal showers, food and cake tastings, brunches, bachelorette bashes, rehearsal dinners and even the honeymoon. These pre-wedding rituals that escort you right down the aisle don’t often marry well with weight-loss goals.

But this buffet of festivities doesn’t have to be your undoing. With the help of Weight Watchers fitness pro Jennifer Cohen, who is also the trainer on TV’s Shedding for the Wedding, we’ve come up with some stay-on-Plan strategies for every celebratory pit stop on your way to happily ever after.

The Engagement Party

  • Go easy on the bubbly. When it’s time for the champagne toast, smile, clink, sip…and then place your flute on the table and reach for a glass of sparkling water.
  • Make yourself a (small) plate. As the trays of appetizers float by, avoid mindlessly grabbing and gobbling every offer from the tray; instead, make a conscious choice to choose the nibbles that most appeal to you. Take it a step further: Assemble your chosen nibbles on a plate before you eat them, so you can really visualize how much you’re eating.
  • Work the room. Focus on friends and family, and make sure you greet each and every guest. With all of your favorite people in one place, you won’t have time to over-indulge!
  • Make some music. Whether you hire a DJ or just hook up your IPod to a portable sound system, dial up the fitness quotient of even a small-ish bash by playing music that gets everyone moving.

The Bridal Shower

  • Open your gifts yourself. Ever go to a shower where the bridesmaids form a well-meaning assembly line to unwrap your gifts before they hit your lap? Skip it! The task of unwrapping keeps both hands busy with a (fun) non-edible activity. Plus it’s just more fun!
  • Mingle during courses, not between. If your shower is in a restaurant, eat what you want, then leave your seat and visit friends at each and every table. And if you come back to a cleared plate, so much the better!

Food and Cake Tastings

  • Make it a meal. Schedule a tasting at lunch or dinnertime so that you don’t end up eating twice.
  • Think like a restaurant critic. Professional food tasters take a small bite of each dish, rather than finishing what’s in front of them. As you sample multiple appetizers, entrees, side dishes, and cake fillings, remember that just one bite will give you all the information you need to make your decision. If the sample is bad, you won’t want to keep eating it; if it’s good, you’ll know you’ve settled on the right choice and can move on.
  • Stay hydrated. Ask the staff to bring a pitcher of water to the table, and drink plenty during your tasting—it will help fill you up, as well as cleanse your palate for the next course.

The Bachelorette Bash

  • Get moving. Ask your bridesmaids to consider a high-energy party: one that involves taking over a pool or roller rink. Hitting the town or clubbing in Vegas? Do plenty of walking from venue to venue, and make sure you’re the last one to leave the dance floor.
  • Show it off! Wear something sequined and snug. It’s your night to show off all your hard work… plus a figure-hugging outfit will remind you of your goals, even as a friend hands you another fruity margarita. (Psst: check out our Cocktail Cheat Sheet for smarter cocktail choices.)

Your Wedding Reception

  • Get a morning glow. (No… not that kind!) Setting aside 30-60 minutes of exercise on the morning of your big day can do wonders for your mind and your body. Whether you take a brisk walk with friends, go for a quick solo run, or pop in your favorite yoga DVD, a workout will help ease the inevitable pre-wedding jitters, plus leave you feeling fit and energized.
  • Plan ahead. With all the reception hoopla, you’ll probably be starving by the time you get to your hotel suite, so arrange in advance to have a healthy meal or snack delivered to your door. You’ll be less tempted to attack the fattening mini-bar or order midnight onion rings off the room-service menu.

The Honeymoon

  • Build exercise into your itinerary. If you’re beach-bound, you’ll likely be languishing on a chaise for most of the day (and losing workout motivation after those irresistible frozen coco-rum drinks). Scheduling a 30-minute morning workout—preferably with your partner—can help balance things out. Some ideas: Visit the hotel gym; take a brisk walk or run on the beach; hit some tennis balls; or make a daily boogie-boarding date.
  • Leave the rental car at the hotel. Heading to a big city? Make like a local and walk wherever you can. You’ll see the sights and burn calories in one fell swoop. (Plus, think of the photo opps!)

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