My Little Etiquette Shop: Lessons Learned at…a funeral?

Last week was quite a week. A fair bit of time was given to supporting a grieving family who lost their mother, our neighbor.

Her funeral brought out my contemplative side.  The service was unique, in that the rabbi thought he was a stand up comedian.  At first I braced myself: this was a train wreck.  Knowing he wasn’t someone who knew the family well, but had met with them briefly the day before, I dreaded where he was going with his goofy humor.  However, bit by bit, he charmed everyone in the room (myself included) with his puns, and the way he spoke more about the people present than the one who was gone. He really brought her to life in the way he “riffed” on each meaningful relationship, right down to mock-lecturing her son’s boss saying, “keep an eye on him.”

I love and respect Jewish culture, our wedding was quite traditional. But, as an employee at a floral design studio, and lover of flowers I am comforted by flowers at funerals, which are contrary to Jewish tradition. (I’ll let wiser folk explain).  One woman at the service brought flowers, completely innocently.  The same jovial rabbi spoke a little too sharply to her for my taste about the fact that they were “not allowed.”  From the row behind her, it looked like she felt bad. I often mangle Emily Post’s famous quote about how keeping people comfortable around you makes your behavior proper, no matter what. We’ll make the exact quote lesson 1 from yesterday, followed by the other two.

1) Mind your manners “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” -Emily Post.  Don’t make people feel bad, especially in a sensitive situation like a funeral. <ahem Rabbi…>

2) Trust a professional to do their job. That Rabbi wasn’t going to risk corny humor if he didn’t know where he was going with it, and that he would be able to touch people. Have a little faith, and even when things seem like they are going wrong, they are most likely going to turn in the right direction.

2) Laugh when you want to cry. This is of course a very serious application of that principle.  But it applies in so many situations. If you reflexively tear up in response to a bizarre/awful/terrible/shocking event in your life, take a deep breath, and try to reframe. There’s got to be something funny about what happened. You just have to find that piece of it and let it tickle you.  It takes the air out of almost anything, and you can begin to put the pieces back together.

Have a happy, grateful week everyone! Count your blessings.

Be well, and love well.

Dinah

 

 

Trust Yourself To Pick A Florist You Trust

I completely trust the guy who cuts my hair (Paul Norton at Warren Tricomi salon in West Hollywood – he’s AMAZING). I basically tell him, “make me gorgeous,” and he does his thing. And I end up – guess what – gorgeous!  Every bride should feel the same about her vendors – especially her floral designer.  While you may want to offer more guidance, if they are the right florist, you should trust them enough to say, “here’s my basic vision, the colors I like, now make it gorgeous.”

When My Little Flower Shop did our wedding, Stephen and I knew it would be beautiful.  We knew the overall feel we wanted, and the colors.  And then we told Greg and Al to make it gorgeous. There were no details discussed, but I knew from centerpieces to bouquets it would be perfect ( and it was. Check out our Pinterest board).

The huppah covered in roses, hydrangea, succulents, lisianthus, mums, and beautiful greenery

When Greg called me that morning to ask if it would be OK if he left the tulle off the top of our chuppah (Jewish wedding canopy/structure) because it looked great without it, I laughed.  “Of course – you didn’t even need to call.”

Are you feeling like the lead designer on your own wedding? Making too many decisions, and giving too much direction? Maybe you need to go in a new direction, and to a different florist. Trust yourself!

Be well, and love well.

-Dinah

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Cori, Our Adorable DIY Bride Gets Blog Coverage Along With Her Beautiful Bouquet!

Cori wrote to us to share her big internet moment! We’ve re-posted this from LoveToastBlog

South African Jewish Wedding by Sweet Tea Imagery

3.22.2012

For those of you that haven’t typically heard of a South African Jewish wedding, Cori and Adam would describe it in just one word as “nuts!” Along with having a D.J. that sounds like the Geico Gecko, surprise guests, and techno disco mixed in to their first dance, their Palm Springs wedding is just the prettiest thing we’ve ever seen. The stunning setting with breathtaking views didn’t need much decorating, but the DIY details added that extra touch of personalization. We love how the pops of blue and green colors and the cacti and succulents in the bouquet compliment the desert setting!

Venue: The O’Donnell House At The Willows Historic Inn, Palm Springs, CA/ Dress:  Nicole Miller/ Shoes: Matisse Maldives Sandal/ Dessert: Gayle Glass, MOB, made cookies and bars/ Catering: Jennifer’s Kitchen (she was awesome to work with from day one!)/ Invites & Programs: Stacie Malkus- Leftwave Designs– Sister of the bride made the invitations, Bride made the programs (they were really just explanations of a Jewish wedding, more than a program)/ Bridal Bouquet: My Little Flower Shop/ Flowers: Mostly just pinwheels. We ordered a few gerbera daisies from 2G Roses (online), which worked out well because my awesome friends cut them all for me!/ Pinwheels: My Rule 42 Etsy Shop (smaller pinwheels handmade by bride)/ Music: DJ Chris Paul- He sounds like the Geiko Gecko. We loved him! Photographer: Sweet Tea Imagery (Amy and Billy Morris were AMAZING photographers to work with!!!!) Videographer: Imagique Weddings (We weren’t going to have our wedding filmed but then somebody told us how much her kids love watching her wedding. Our friend Danny from South Africa edits videos, so he took the raw footage home with him, and he is editing it as our wedding gift!)/ Hair & Makeup: Salon Mirror Mirror

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