The Cool Factor – Make Sure Your Wedding’s Not Lukewarm

Wedding Photos
Image by Sean Choe via Flickr

OMG you guys! Wouldn’t it be cool if…

Oh the immortal “Wouldn’t It Be Cool If.” Sometimes the ideas are old as the hills, and some are genuinely unique and fun.  Then there is one last category: I call it “teetering.”  These are the ideas that given a slight nudge with a bendy straw would  fall into the chasm of “over my dead body.” But there’s a voice in my ear: done right, it could be utterly breathtaking/incredible/unforgettable.

In the end, it is not the planner who decides.  If the bride and groom love the idea, it grows wings.  So, bride and groom.  How do you decide if your grand vision  will be a rousing success, like this wedding entrance routine that went viral, warming hearts across the globe, or squirm inducing either now, or in ten years when you look back on this, the biggest moment of your life as a couple?

Things to think through / Questions to ask yourself:

1.  Check the health of your motive.  Is the amazing idea designed with the aim of becoming a viral video sensation? Some media pundits are starting to find this trend really tiresome, but that’s neither here nor there. Back to you. Is You-Tube fame-seeking really the right frame of mind for beginning your marriage? Don’t turn your rite of passage into a flash mob.  Let it be meaningful.

2.  Are you really and truly equally committed to the grand entrance via trapeze?  Or is one partner Barnum and Bailey bound and the other donning the sequins to be agreeable?  Talk to each others’ family and friends to get honest answers. You need to be a team.

3. Will your ‘Big Idea’ upset anyone in either of your families? Yes – it’s your day and all that, but weddings are intense moments as far as family dynamics go – and you are laying the groundwork for relationships that are yours to have and to hold, for better and for worse.  Let’s keep them for better by not ticking off your Mother In Law (on film no less) on day one.

4.  Try to fast forward 5, 10, 15 years.  Are you going to regret it? Weddings, at their essence, are timeless.  Fashion can date them (<cough> Princess Di) and so can gimmicky touches.  Like having a computer for an officiant.  When you reminisce about your wedding through the years, let it be “wasn’t it wonderful?” not “what were we thinking?”

5.  Keep in mind what everyone’s there for and KISS.  That stands for Keep It Simple, Silly! Everyone is coming to your wedding to share an important moment in your lives.  The “wow” factor really isn’t that crucial. If you relax, and enjoy each other, everyone present will follow suit. No bells, whistles or computer generated officiants required

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiK3Rs0nfGY]

Zara Phillips (now Tindall) steals her sleeves from a Palm Springs Bride!

That Other Royal Wedding
Photo by Martin Rickett Mike Tindall and Zara Phillips emerging from the church after their wedding today.
The bouquet looks on the wintery side to us.  Of interest- the lack of ribbon wrapped stems. That trend has stuck for so long – could a high profile bride skipping the demure touch lead to a renaissance of bare stems?
On a fashion note, what our Royal brides have accomplished is the end the reign of strapless gowns.  Sleeves!  Love it! Zara’s sleeves look awfully familiar though, we’re going to have to do better at keeping those royal designer spies away from our Palm Springs brides!
Silk chiffon cap sleeves from a wedding last fall. Were there Royal spies?

My Little Etiquette Shop: Should a Bride play Bob Barker if the Price Isn’t Right?

Money. Whether you’re on team “Root of All Evils” or  more in the “Can’t Buy Love but Sure is Nice” camp, it is a source of worry for brides, grooms, and their families. This is a really good question – read on.
Q:  I went shopping with my sister for her wedding dress. When paying, she asked if it was the “best price” and if they could add any free accessories or alterations to “sweeten the deal.”  Then she did the same with the caterer.  She was politely declined, but it all made me quite uncomfortable. Is she leaving people whose help she needs with a bad taste in their mouths?

Wedding Budget Stress

A:  In theory, I get her thinking. So much in today’s marketplace is “on sale” or dicounted, so why not try and negotiate? You are correct though, that some vendors see that as a bit nervvy. Don’t worry about the rapport, as a Hospitality Sage once said, “until somebody throws something, any and all bride behavior comes with the territory.”
There’s a simple way to avoid having to bring Monte Hall on appointments, and to stay in your financial comfort zone: Be upfront with vendors about your budget. If they know the parameters, they can adjust their thinking accordingly and remove the need for any “wheeling and dealing.” They can also suggest  packages or specials they have. If you’re working with the A-TEAM of wedding professionals here in the Coachella Valley, all of us know how to take what you’ve got and turn it into “beautiful.”
With wedding businesses, keep this in mind about pricing. What we want is to provide a stable source of a reliable, high-quality service, in our case, beautiful flowers and flawless event design/coordination. When a bride signs with us, we’ve made a commitment to stay where we are, and do our best work for another year. If we discounted too deeply, we’d be unable to keep the promises we make. And keeping our word is important – especially when it means so much to our brides. We work with all types of budgets – and all our weddings, (and parties, corporate events, showers, bar/bat mitzvahs…) are beautiful.

bride and groom in gazebo
Have a great weekend!