The Cool Factor – Make Sure Your Wedding’s Not Lukewarm

Wedding Photos
Image by Sean Choe via Flickr

OMG you guys! Wouldn’t it be cool if…

Oh the immortal “Wouldn’t It Be Cool If.” Sometimes the ideas are old as the hills, and some are genuinely unique and fun.  Then there is one last category: I call it “teetering.”  These are the ideas that given a slight nudge with a bendy straw would  fall into the chasm of “over my dead body.” But there’s a voice in my ear: done right, it could be utterly breathtaking/incredible/unforgettable.

In the end, it is not the planner who decides.  If the bride and groom love the idea, it grows wings.  So, bride and groom.  How do you decide if your grand vision  will be a rousing success, like this wedding entrance routine that went viral, warming hearts across the globe, or squirm inducing either now, or in ten years when you look back on this, the biggest moment of your life as a couple?

Things to think through / Questions to ask yourself:

1.  Check the health of your motive.  Is the amazing idea designed with the aim of becoming a viral video sensation? Some media pundits are starting to find this trend really tiresome, but that’s neither here nor there. Back to you. Is You-Tube fame-seeking really the right frame of mind for beginning your marriage? Don’t turn your rite of passage into a flash mob.  Let it be meaningful.

2.  Are you really and truly equally committed to the grand entrance via trapeze?  Or is one partner Barnum and Bailey bound and the other donning the sequins to be agreeable?  Talk to each others’ family and friends to get honest answers. You need to be a team.

3. Will your ‘Big Idea’ upset anyone in either of your families? Yes – it’s your day and all that, but weddings are intense moments as far as family dynamics go – and you are laying the groundwork for relationships that are yours to have and to hold, for better and for worse.  Let’s keep them for better by not ticking off your Mother In Law (on film no less) on day one.

4.  Try to fast forward 5, 10, 15 years.  Are you going to regret it? Weddings, at their essence, are timeless.  Fashion can date them (<cough> Princess Di) and so can gimmicky touches.  Like having a computer for an officiant.  When you reminisce about your wedding through the years, let it be “wasn’t it wonderful?” not “what were we thinking?”

5.  Keep in mind what everyone’s there for and KISS.  That stands for Keep It Simple, Silly! Everyone is coming to your wedding to share an important moment in your lives.  The “wow” factor really isn’t that crucial. If you relax, and enjoy each other, everyone present will follow suit. No bells, whistles or computer generated officiants required