Weddings need to be a “should free” zone

In the world of weddings, as in the rest of life, “should” is a dangerous word. As we head into engagement season, I want to address the concept of “should” as relates to wedding planning. A lot of advertising is aimed at to-be-weds about what they “should” do, wear, or even spend on their celebrations. You’ll be happier if you tune out those voices. Let’s talk about why.

If I had been the photographer, I'd have gotten closer to the beautiful bouquet. Photo by Kelly Mendoza
If I had been the photographer, I’d have gotten closer to the beautiful bouquet. Photo by Kelly Mendoza

Think about what ‘should” actually means. If you should, it means you aren’t. That what you are doing, being, eating, choosing, etc. is ill-considered, misguided and sometimes (depending on how dramatic your mother is) fatal. It could be that you’re not doing it right, or that you’re not doing it at all, but whatever it is, a “should” implies you are wrong and bad.

Even full of confidence and empowered by the fact that this YOUR wedding/life, being told that you aren’t doing something right starts to make you reconsider. “Maybe I should do/be whatever it is that I’m not. Should I have thought of that?” And so it becomes internal. Should means aren’t, and eventually it drills down to doubting who you are.

So skip the “shoulds” people! Tempted in conversation? Try:

  • A good option might be to…
  • You know, I had a friend who…
  • If it were me, I would…

Support your friends – to-be-weds and the general public. If it were me, I’d tell them you love them, too.

Be well, and love well.

Wedding Movie Of The Week! Chick Flick Classic – Steel Magnolias

Steel Magnolias opens in the hustle and bustle of a wedding. This is a great way to introduce an audience to a movie’s major players, since as we all know nuptials certainly do bring out a cast of characters in every family!

If I had to choose one classic movie wedding – it would likely be the one in Steel Magnolias. It introduced countless girls in the eighties, me included, to the notion of having wedding colors (and to the possibility of them being mercilessly mocked.) I also believe it brought the groom’s cake some cool points above the Mason-Dixon line. To the chagrin of event designers, there were suddenly armadillo and football jersey cakes popping up at weddings nationwide.

But ultimately, Steel Magnolias is a well-acted story of women supporting one another through life’s trials and tribulations.  You’ll get some laughs but don’t be fooled. Get out your handkerchiefs for this one.


A Happy Valentine’s Mom!

Stephanie shared this adorable shot of her mom with her Valentine’s flowers.  Don’t you want to take her on a tip-toe through the tulips?
From: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Thursday, February 14, 2013 12:37 PM
Thank you so much Gregory you made my mom’s 82nd Valentines Day so special!! Thank you again Stephanie


Valentine's Day tulips. Lovely!
Valentine’s Day tulips. Lovely!