etiquette

My Little Etiquette Shop: Shower the people you love with…showers?

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And now, another visit with our resident Etiquette Expert.  Got a wedding or social entertaining conundrum? Let her take a crack at it! Send your questions to your favorite Palm Springs event experts at mylittleflowershopps@gmail.com

Q:  Due to having a) a mother-in-law with giant bridge club b) well meaning Aunt c) my actual own-age friends all in the mix, I am being forced to have 3 showers. I would really like my best friend and Maid of Honor to come with me to all of them and provide her classic sense of humor, otherwise I might elope to Mexico with a paper plate full of bows on my head. How do I ask so that she doesn’t feel like she has to buy three gifts?

A:  Not to sound glib dear, but have you tried a version of the question you just asked? You sound very sincere about needing your friend’s support, and I imagine when asked, she would immediately understand that you need back-up at events where the guests are not people you know well, if at all. Trust me when I say that she is fully aware that showers, when they are repeated, are, well, repetitive. Obviously she cares for you if she’s signed on as MOH. Have a little faith – just ask.

While we’ve got your attention, I have a slight bone to pick with you, Miss Bride. You talk as if you are being bodily forced into a wing chair and held down while people (gasp) give you gifts and (horrors) make you eat pastel frosted cupcakes. Complaining about showers falls under the designation of Conduct Unbecoming a Bride. You are being shown extraordinary love. Receive gracefully. Our universal bridal advice: breathe, stand up straight, and enjoy your moment.  Rinse, and repeat.

Teacup Cupcake Toppers for Bridal Shower
Teacup Cupcake Toppers for Bridal Shower (Photo credit: Cupcake Luv)
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Arianna can get herself all in a Huff, but Emily will always be the Post with the Most.

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Emily would actually have quite liked Arianna. She’s spunky, and, we imagine, never dull at a dinner party.  The same description applies to Peggy Post, the current Post holding the family post. Peggy has started answering etiquette questions in the New York Times, spicing up the online weddings section. We will be sharing some of them here from time to time.  “But wait,” you might be thinking, “you guys answer etiquette questions on the blog, isn’t she competition?” The answer is no, and here’s why. We freely admit that we don’t know how to properly greet the Queen of Norway. Peggy does.  She also is an enclyclopedia of knowledge about weddings, because it’s her full time job. Resources are always a positive. We liked this question and superb answer because it drilled down into a specific issue about guest lists which we discussed recently. So without further ado…

Q&A: The Well-Mannered Wedding

By PEGGY POST
Published: March 4, 2011
 

Your Wedding Questions Answered

Planning or attending a wedding, but not sure of the proper way to go about it? In the Well-Mannered Wedding. Peggy Post, a director of the Emily Post Institute and the great-granddaughter-in-law of its namesake, answers readers’ questions.

Who Deserves Plus-One Status?  

My boyfriend and I have had several heated discussions regarding the etiquette of inviting guests with a plus-one. He thinks everyone should get a plus-one, all other factors aside. I think that only guests in a serious relationship (i.e. long term, living together) should warrant a plus-one invitation. Can you settle the debate?

Monica A., Berkeley, Calif.

Let’s avoid sending either one of you to the etiquette penalty box. Today’s standard plus-one is someone who is married to, engaged to, living with and, yes, in a long-term relationship with the invited wedding guest. Beyond these “must invites,” your plus-one decisions will be based on budget and consistency. If it’s only a few and it’s not a budget buster, you might consider asking them all. But if that’s not the case (and let’s be realistic here), come up with a clear parameter. Even so, without a plus-one invitation, some of your single guests may not want to attend. In the end, that’s their choice.

Note to guests: You didn’t get a plus-one invitation and you have a new boyfriend? Be empathetic and don’t take offense. Be happy that you’re one of the “must be there” people on the bride and bridegroom’s guest list.

Can I get an Amen? Thanks Peggy and NYT!

Arianna can get herself all in a Huff, but Emily will always be the Post with the Most.

by

Emily would actually have quite liked Arianna. She’s spunky, and, we imagine, never dull at a dinner party.  The same description applies to Peggy Post, the current Post holding the family post. Peggy has started answering etiquette questions in the New York Times, spicing up the online weddings section. We will be sharing some of them here from time to time.  “But wait,” you might be thinking, “you guys answer etiquette questions on the blog, isn’t she competition?” The answer is no, and here’s why. We freely admit that we don’t know how to properly greet the Queen of Norway. Peggy does.  She also is an enclyclopedia of knowledge about weddings, because it’s her full time job. Resources are always a positive. We liked this question and superb answer because it drilled down into a specific issue about guest lists which we discussed recently. So without further ado…

Q&A: The Well-Mannered Wedding

By PEGGY POST
Published: March 4, 2011
 

Your Wedding Questions Answered

Planning or attending a wedding, but not sure of the proper way to go about it? In the Well-Mannered Wedding. Peggy Post, a director of the Emily Post Institute and the great-granddaughter-in-law of its namesake, answers readers’ questions.

Who Deserves Plus-One Status?  

My boyfriend and I have had several heated discussions regarding the etiquette of inviting guests with a plus-one. He thinks everyone should get a plus-one, all other factors aside. I think that only guests in a serious relationship (i.e. long term, living together) should warrant a plus-one invitation. Can you settle the debate?

Monica A., Berkeley, Calif.

Let’s avoid sending either one of you to the etiquette penalty box. Today’s standard plus-one is someone who is married to, engaged to, living with and, yes, in a long-term relationship with the invited wedding guest. Beyond these “must invites,” your plus-one decisions will be based on budget and consistency. If it’s only a few and it’s not a budget buster, you might consider asking them all. But if that’s not the case (and let’s be realistic here), come up with a clear parameter. Even so, without a plus-one invitation, some of your single guests may not want to attend. In the end, that’s their choice.

Note to guests: You didn’t get a plus-one invitation and you have a new boyfriend? Be empathetic and don’t take offense. Be happy that you’re one of the “must be there” people on the bride and bridegroom’s guest list.

Can I get an Amen? Thanks Peggy and NYT!