etiquette

My Little Etiquette Shop: Places please! This is a rehearsal dinner, people!

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What the heck? Who needs to rehearse how to eat, right? May is here and from New York to San Francisco, wedding guests are digging through drawers trying to find invitation maps they buried under receipts and take-out menus.  Many will discover that they have been invited to a rehearsal dinner, whether or not they are in the wedding party.  We had some etiquette queries come in about rehearsals and the associated dinners, so we’re going to take them on. Do you have questions about being a wedding guest? Write us! We love questions, rehearsed or not.  MyLittleFlowerShopPS@gmail.com.  Please put the word “Etiquette” in your subject line.

Q:  HI MLFS,

Why was I invited to my friend’s Rehearsal Dinner? I’m not in the wedding party, and I’m not family.  Is it rude to decline the invitation?

-Barbara

A:   Well, Barbara, rehearsal dinners have changed over time.  Many are still intimate affairs where the people who are at the actual rehearsal go out to dinner.  Others, however, have become parties practically as elaborate as the weddings themselves.  Many couples have decided that with guests traveling from afar, it’s nice to invite out-of-towners to the dinner so as to have an activity their first night, and see friends and family.  Others choose to invite those closest to them who are not in the wedding party to join the group to recognize their special place in the bride or groom’s life. Regardless of what your friend’s reason was, it’s a nice invitation, and chances are the food will be better than at the Motel 6 coffee shop so hey – why not?  As to declining, no it’s not rude, as long as you actually decline according to the invitation’s instructions.  If it says to call your friend’s future Mother-in -Law, you should call her, and not just drop your friend an email.  People are dealing with caterers and the bride may not have time to communicate (or remember) all such details. She’s a little busy right now. And, needless to say, thank her FMIL for the invitation.

Let the toasting begin!  More on wedding guests to come.

Malin / Balestriere Rehearsal Dinner
Why am I here? For the party, of course! Photo by Sean O'Shaughnessy

Posh in Purple? The Queen in a Yellow Hat? Would you put money on it?

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Apparently all sectors of the British economy are being boosted by Royal wedding fever: even the bookies are raking it in. Will Prince William be forced to wait at the altar due to excessive train fluffing? Will Carole Middleton (mother of the bride) chew gum? Will Prince Harry be too drunk to finish his speech?  Weigh the likelihood and shell out accordingly.

Will and Kate, should Grandmum wear yellow?
Her Majesty in a yellow hat. Will she repeat for the Royal Wedding?
All bets are on for royal wedding wagers

By Julien Girault (AFP) – 2 days ago

LONDON — British bookmakers are having a field day taking bets on every aspect of the royal wedding, from the first dance to the Queen’s hat — and Prince Philip nodding off during the ceremony.

Betting shops, an institution on every British high street, regularly offer “specials” on politics and reality television programmes alongside the usual sporting staples of football and horse racing.

And major chains wasted no time offering a vast range of odds on the wedding once Prince William and Kate Middleton announced their engagement in November.

“If it’s not exciting enough for viewers at home, we’re giving them the chance of an additional thrill on the big day,” Ladbrokes betting chain spokesman Alex Donohue told AFP.

“We’re definitely reaching new customers. Lots of women are coming this time to bet on the colour of the Queen’s hat and who is going to be there. There are many men as well who usually don’t bet.”

Betting on the Queen’s hat is a regular Ascot races punt. Yellow is the 5-4 favourite for the wedding. Elsewhere in the headwear stakes, punters reckon Middleton will wear a traditional tiara.

But it’s not just the royals being bet on.

Purple is the 4-1 favourite colour for pop star guest Victoria Beckham’s dress.

ok…really? Yep, I just re-read the excerpt and we really are betting on what an ex-Spice Girl is wearing. Someone on high had better save us all, not just the Queen!

to place your bets (in the UK that is)  http://betting.ladbrokes.com/en/royal-wedding-bets

My Little Etiquette Shop: Prom Posies and the Problems they Pose

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It’s that time of year again, when you’ll see groups of teens looking awfully snazzy overtaking hotel ballrooms all over the country.  The occasion? You likely remember it well: Prom.  As this year’s crop of Juniors and Seniors gets ready to boogie down in their gowns and tuxes, we thought we’d tackle 2 of the etiquette questions that pop up when kids venture out into the wonderful world of social events. Have others? Send ’em in! We’ll revisit prom in a future blog post.

Succulent boutonniere suitable for wedding or prom
Boutonniere using succulent - perfect for prom or desert wedding

Q: Who orders and pays for the flowers?

A: Each date buys the others’ flowers (corsage or boutonniere as appropriate).  Mom, feel like taking over for your busy teen?  We actually recommend letting  your son or daughter handle this on their own.  It’s an important step for young people to learn how to operate in the world – making Prom arrangements with local businesses is a great start. Encourage your teen to order flowers, and to communicate with their dates to find out what they are wearing so that everything coordinates nicely.

Q:  What do I do if my date arrives and the flowers don’t match my outfit? Or are really ugly? Do I have to wear them?

A: Whatever those flowers look like, smile, say thank you, and put them on.  This is someone who you liked enough to go with to the Prom, and they are giving you a gift. Do you really want to crush them and start the evening off on a negative note?  Not good form. The exception to this rule is if you have allergies. If your corsage is going to make you sick, by all means thank your date, and explain that you’ll keep it at home to admire later due to your sensitivity to the particular bloom.

Corsages and boutonnieres have come a long way. Gone is the single rose and baby’s breath that was the mainstay of every prom and wedding in the eighties, replaced by succulents or other unexpected elements. The scratchy elastic bands have been replaced with silky ribbons and stretchy pearled bracelets.  Some girls even carry a small handheld bouquet.  Let your floral professional create a special memory for your big night.

Stay safe everyone!