Go Ahead! Be My Guest! Oh Wait…Can I Take That Back?

My blog the other day linking to the information on how to get an official White House greeting for your wedding also brought up the rest of that day’s post about managing one’s guest list.  We all have to do our best to be diplomatic, but let’s just all take a moment today and say a prayer of thanks that we have more control over our guest lists than the White House has over theirs. Wishing all the best to the event planners in charge of the Governor’s Association dinner this week, and to those working on the Governor’s Ball at tonight’s Academy Awards!

Brides: Ready, Set, List!

How does one take control of the roster? Besides hiring the experts at My Little Flower Shop to keep you calm, cool and collected, here are 5 favorite tips to keep in mind.

List early, and often

Don’t wait to start making a guest list.  Most likely, we don’t have to tell you this – a lot of brides start a list even before they get engaged.  Nevertheless, for the less future-focused, it’s good to have a starting point. So just start by writing down anyone you can think of that you might want to invite.

Never say never

Once it’s time to start narrowing the pool, don’t invite people assuming “they won’t come.” Even those relatives in Malta your family hasn’t seen for 2 generations might be so touched by the invitation that they decide to get on a plane.

Life on the B list

Despite all the refrigerator magnets, the emails and the skywriting, there are still some people who will have other plans on your wedding day.  You’ve got a limited period of time to fill in, so you haven’t a moment to lose.  Have a back-up list of guests at the ready, addresses and all, so you can fire off invitations as the regrets come in.

Embrace your inner beancounter

Spreadsheets can be beautiful things. You’ll be so happy you started keeping everything in an orderly fashion. One gal we know says the address spreadsheet is her favorite thing that came out of the wedding. They’ve used it for everything  from kids birthday parties to holiday letter personalization. (It was a perfect opportunity to ask to be removed from her holiday letter list, but I just couldn’t. Bless her heart).

Just because you went to hers…

This is not Kindergarten. It’s $125-a-plate-gourmet-brunch-in-the-garden. Every girl you’ve ever seen walk down the aisle doesn’t by default belong on your list. Grown ups know this. If this culls immature friends from your life, lucky you.

Always invite the president

This is one case where you really can assume that they won’t come. But, if you send an invitation to the White House, you’ll get a special greeting back in honor of your wedding. Pretty darned cool. 

The Honorable Barack Obama and Mrs. Obama
The White House
Greetings Office Room 39
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500

A wedding greeting from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

On the subject of the White House and weddings, can we just go on record that Prince William is unbelieveably rude? And that you can put a big old tiara on that Kate chick but she’ll never be as regal as Michelle Obama? But I digress.

It all boils down to this: Focus on who you two really want to smile at on your way back up the aisle. An informal poll of the MLFS staff revealed that is highly likely to be one of the happiest moments of your life. Who do you want to share that with? Go forth and list!

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Sometimes Love is In The Stars. Or The Star Wars. Same diff, right?

funny wedding photos - star wars - bride's cake - Much Ado About R2D2
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Having met my husband at a Halloween party, dressed as Star Wars heroine Princess Leia, this cake photo struck near and dear to my heart. As I knew well at the time, Princess Leia revvs up the hearts of many men of a certain age, and my costume interpretation of “Leia goes to the disco on Hoth” was killer. I had him at cinnamon buns. Almost exactly two years later, we threw a party (aka destination wedding) in Palm Springs, (I had another killer up-do) and became husband and wife.

The night we met: Princess Leia goes to the disco on the Ice Planet, and Harry Potter

Just about everybody knows someone who is really into Star Wars.  And when it comes to weddings, many a shout out has been made to the citizens of the galaxy. Some are musical (a recessional from the movie’s score is a good one), pastry, like these folks did, or fashion (Leia did wear a lot of white..).  So don’t fear throwing a little George Lucas inspiration in the mix.  We do advise however, that a soup-to-nuts all out costumed, Star Wars themed wedding would make people uncomfortable, as does any 100% re-enactment wedding.   And in the end, we’re celebrating our friends and family as much as ourselves.  If they are all miserable in their storm trooper armor and ewok hats, they may as well have stayed far, far away.

On wedding day. Different outfits (but still a killer up-do)
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When A Wedding Vendor’s Reputation Precedes Them

Our fearless leaders Greg and Alan were in LA recently, and stayed at the Biltmore, a legendary and elegant hotel in the heart of downtown.  The Biltmore is a popular wedding venue, and has beautiful ballrooms that, should you visit them, would probably look familiar due to the number of films and television shows that have been shot there.

The service Greg and Al received was, to say the least, sub-par.  Thankfully, they’d gotten an internet deal and weren’t paying the normal rate of between $300-600 a night.  But, it proves a point.  You can check in to a world famous hotel, and get well below world-class service.

The wide aisles at the LA Flower Mart

Don’t hire vendors, or choose a venue because of their “legendary” reputation, or because they did a certain celebrity’s wedding.  In fact, if someone is billing themselves with a list of celebrity clients, you should ask for three non-celebrity references to make sure they received the same level of service.  Appearances (and sales people) can be deceiving, so make sure you’re getting service that lives up to your expectations.

Did I mention why the boys were at the Biltmore? So they could be close to the LA Flower Mart when they woke up at 1:00am to source peonies (out of season) for a bride who loved them.  They need to watch it with the super-attentive, every-bride-is-special thing.  They’re going to develop a reputation.

Flowers - beautiful even just arranged by accident in buckets at the Flower Mart!
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