A Reality TV Bride Tells All: why I said “yes.”

When my then fiancé, and I announced that our wedding was going to be taped for a TLC reality show, people were more than a little surprised.  Everyone was convinced we were adding to an already stressful time.  In fact, saying “yes” to TLC was one of our best decisions. Let me tell you why.

The last weeks before the wedding were a whirlwind.  There was one oasis: shooting the show. Stephen and I spent two hours talking and “being cute” together.  We walked down a street near the beach hand in hand, trailed by a camera, giggling. We sat on a beautiful, sunny,  patio, reading to each other. We talked about how we fell in love.  That afternoon was a brief shelter from the crazy wedding planning storm: we got to reconnect, and remember that under the tulle and the tablecloths, was our unique love story.

The bride and groom, showcasing our use of succulents in a bridal bouquet and boutonniere
incidentally, showcasing our use of succulents in a bridal bouquet and boutonniere

I treasure those two hours, every moment.  The lights, the cameras, and the questions that reminded me why I had said “yes.”

Note – Credit where credit is due: I got, hands down, the most amazing hair and make-up team in Southern California.  Dana and her team from Design Visage in Orange County made me feel like a movie star. Thanks ladies!

The Nina, The Pinta, And…That Other One Nina didn’t ask to be a bridesmaid.

There were three boats Columbus sailed – and they roll off the tongue as a group.  “The Nina, The Pinta, The Santa Maria.” We all know (or are part of) groups of girlfriends who are the same way.

So what happens when the trio is not kept whole in a wedding party? Everybody is wearing purple taffeta to the wedding except one gal, bless her heart.  And she likely feels left out.

bridesmaids Palm Springs wedding florist
Bridesmaids – all in a row. Photo by Jennifer Yount

A lot of etiquette books will say be sensitive blah blah blah and give the non bridesmaid friend a job handing out wedding bubbles.  So maybe the being sensitive part isn’t blah blah blah.  But it is more specific to your friend – you have to treat these situations individually.  Don’t just say “you’re really important to me” and shove a stack of programs in her hands.  The best solution of all? Call us biased, but flowers speak volumes.  Special friends not wearing “special” (and oh boy are some of them special) dresses are often thrilled to pieces to be honored with a corsage.  Nothing says you’re in the in-crowd at a wedding like official flowers.

So, Nina, get the Santa Maria a wristlet.  And keep sailing happily along.

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Working For The Weekend…On Something Other than your Wedding

Everybody’s working for the weekend. Really? Everybody? Brides tend to focus on their weddings all week – and definitely on the weekends.  It’s prime time for visiting locations, trying on dresses and tasting cakes. But every so often, over the year or so of planning, it’s important to have a wedding-free weekend.  Why? The rewards are many.  These types of breaks…

Non wedding-related goofing around. Good for the relationshp!
– Keep your feet on the ground – the world does not revolve around your wedding, and not being Princess Focus-Puller for a few days keeps up your bridezilla antibodies.
– Keep your relationship intact.  Remember that guy who gave you the shiny ring? He wants his girlfriend back. Your fiancee self is wrapped up in layers of tulle and fondant. Remind him you are who you are (no Ke$ha karaoke please).
– Keep on keeping on. You’ve got miles to go between now and “I do.” In order to stay sane and focused you have to give yourself a break.
There you have it – 3 ways taking a break from wedding planning does right by you.  Now get out there – you worked for this weekend. Make the most of it.