Ah the paradox of the Internet. So helpful, but it’s kind of a rabbit hole. Alice went down following something specific, and then all of a sudden she was at a tea party full of strange people. So you went on looking for a certain color combination of Jordan almonds. You clicked here and there and suddenly you’re on Salon.com reading about how the Democratic, Republican and Tea Parties are full of really strange people.
What’s the lesson here? Make sure you stay focused on your particular search. And if you’re just in the mood to knock around on the Knot, or read your favorite Floral and Event Design Studio blog, set your kitchen timer for a half hour to spare your eyes and your sanity. The rabbits like to keep their holes to themselves.
A fellow planner friend relayed this recent recurring dream:
“I’m toddling happily around the cocktail hour holding the bride and grooms signature sloe gin fizz* and taking in the scene of a bustling reception getting off the ground. The peppy Michael Bublé number tapers off and familiar slow piano chords kick in, filled with emotion. Uh oh, It’s Billy Joel. My inner game of “name that tune” begins. Is it ‘Always a Woman?’ ‘And So It Goes?’ Does it really matter? Let’s face it, Billy Joel, bless his heart, is the troubadour of the relationship train wreck. Nightmare!”
Afraid of Billy Joel? Oh yes. A bummer song busting up your carefully orchestrated cocktail hour scene can really stick in the craw. Here’s the thing. After the ceremony, guests are on a high – they’ve just witnessed a glowing couple come floating back up a flower-bedecked aisle. If the wedding professionals have done our jobs we’ve created the atmosphere you dreamed up for your reception. Flowers, food, drinks, lighting, music…it all combines to envelop a guest in your vision and keep that warm ‘what-an-amazing-couple’ buzz going.
So when all of a sudden the music devolves into a love gone wrong ballad, it’s like putting salt in a recipe instead of sugar. The notes are pretty – but there’s just something off. And off putting. So leave those weepy tunes off the playlist.
Wedding tears are best kept for the ceremony, not for depressing cocktail hour music
A quote inspired by Billy Ocean: “There’ll be sad songs that will make you cry. Love songs often do. They can touch the heart of someone new and all that jazz – just let your DJ know you don’t want them played at the wedding.”
Need specifics for your Itunes jockey? Just feel like crying your eyes out? Check out this list.
As for our friend with the restless nights, maybe we’ll send her the MP3 of “Get Out of my Dreams (Get Into My Car).”
*note – boutique distillery gin is all the rage – start learning to talk snooty about juniper.
Oh the immortal “Wouldn’t It Be Cool If.” Sometimes the ideas are old as the hills, and some are genuinely unique and fun. Then there is one last category: I call it “teetering.” These are the ideas that given a slight nudge with a bendy straw would fall into the chasm of “over my dead body.” But there’s a voice in my ear: done right, it could be utterly breathtaking/incredible/unforgettable.
In the end, it is not the planner who decides. If the bride and groom love the idea, it grows wings. So, bride and groom. How do you decide if your grand vision will be a rousing success, like this wedding entrance routine that went viral, warming hearts across the globe, or squirm inducing either now, or in ten years when you look back on this, the biggest moment of your life as a couple?
Things to think through / Questions to ask yourself:
1. Check the health of your motive. Is the amazing idea designed with the aim of becoming a viral video sensation? Some media pundits are starting to find this trend really tiresome, but that’s neither here nor there. Back to you. Is You-Tube fame-seeking really the right frame of mind for beginning your marriage? Don’t turn your rite of passage into a flash mob. Let it be meaningful.
2. Are you really and truly equally committed to the grand entrance via trapeze? Or is one partner Barnum and Bailey bound and the other donning the sequins to be agreeable? Talk to each others’ family and friends to get honest answers. You need to be a team.
3. Will your ‘Big Idea’ upset anyone in either of your families? Yes – it’s your day and all that, but weddings are intense moments as far as family dynamics go – and you are laying the groundwork for relationships that are yours to have and to hold, for better and for worse. Let’s keep them for better by not ticking off your Mother In Law (on film no less) on day one.
4. Try to fast forward 5, 10, 15 years. Are you going to regret it? Weddings, at their essence, are timeless. Fashion can date them (<cough> Princess Di) and so can gimmicky touches. Like having a computer for an officiant. When you reminisce about your wedding through the years, let it be “wasn’t it wonderful?” not “what were we thinking?”
5. Keep in mind what everyone’s there for and KISS. That stands for Keep It Simple, Silly! Everyone is coming to your wedding to share an important moment in your lives. The “wow” factor really isn’t that crucial. If you relax, and enjoy each other, everyone present will follow suit. No bells, whistles or computer generated officiants required
