Relationships

My best friends hate me! I just know it! (psst – actually, you don’t know it).

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To-be-weds can get worked up, and wedding party drama is a common occurrence. I like to point out that if you listen to your own words, you can often hear wisdom.

An example:

“My friends hate me, I just know it!” Let’s play that back. You “just know it?” Chances are you’re making assumptions. So a friend didn’t show up for lunch, and hasn’t returned your call. You have no idea of their circumstances– a sick parent, a dead car battery. Try not to jump immediately to “my best friends hate me.”

Friends don’t pitch in at weddings for free booze– they’re in it for the joy of helping you find happiness. So if it turns out someone is upset, they don’t hate you, they are just hurt by something you said or did.2013-stice.jpg

Your job as a good friend is to find out what happened and work it out. Approaching these situations with grace and humility while planning your wedding is not only good for smoothing things over in the immediate, but will also cement these important friendships for life.

Be well, and love well.

-Dinah

When wedding planning, assume nothing.

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Planning your wedding? Or any special event? Good rule of thumb: Assume Nothing.

Really! Nothing. Always specify (in writing if possible) what you’ve planned for, asked for, paid for, hoped for and wished for.

Especially when it comes to hopes and wishes, please please please don’t expect partners, fiancées and vendors to read your minds. Much to my disappointment (what I wouldn’t give to see inside the minds of the Mother In Laws..) people do not acquire psychic powers during the wedding planning process. Here are some examples of assuming gone awry:

Don’t say to an honor attendant going to your wedding rehearsal: “I’ll see you there” and assume you actually will. In her mind (she’s the rowdy one) you’ll see her there…perhaps after the wedding, hung over from a night out clubbing.

Don’t say to your caterer: “I love beef, so just be creative”  and assume you’ll get a lovely beef entreé, just like you imagined. Your caterer really is creative, and has always harbored a wedding planning fantasy: a reproduction of the Venus De Milo made out of steak tartare.

Have a particular image in mind for your wedding? Let your vendors know.
Have a particular image in mind for your wedding? Let your vendors know.

Don’t say to your brother, “Yes! Make a toast! Funny childhood stories and such” and then be surprised when he tells the guests about you stuffing your bra, or pretending to be ringmaster of the circus. At nineteen.

So you catch my drift. Assume nothing! Make it all very clear, and then enjoy the result of your very-well-communicated labors: just the wedding you wanted.

Be well and love well.

Dinah

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Our number one wedding tip: Don’t miss it!

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Wedding planning is stressful. Managing that stress is the key to enjoying the process, and not letting it drive you crazy. For our number one, top-of-the-heap, best ever wedding planning advice, read on!

There is a saying we repeat that applies to almost any wedding crisis moment – large or small.  You may have read it here before, but good wedding planning advice bears repeating:

Breathe, stand up straight and enjoy your moment. 

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photo by Troy Grover Photographers.

Whether it’s on your way in to negotiate with the caterer, or before you walk down the aisle, these three steps will help you get through just about anything more calmly and elegantly.  And, the beauty part? You’ll actually remember the experience rather than lose it in a blur of wedding memories.  As you plan, savor being engaged, the time passes very quickly.  And don’t forget about the amazing person you’ve decided to spend your life with, they need attention and love.

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Be well, love well and breathe!

 

-Dinah

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