Weddings

The Best Wedding Advice Ever. Period. Exclamation point. Clouds part and angels sing.

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Bride and women
Image by spaceodissey via Flickr

Cutting to the chase, now that the angelic chorus has weighed in, The Best Wedding Advice Ever: Ask for help.  Yes, it’s that simple.  Ask for help.

There’s a false image in the bridal media of the “perfectly organized” bride.  TV and magazines are full of brides with the color coded binders who’ve got everything mapped out down to the last rose petal.  Then there are the articles about “easy breezy” brides for whom everything just drops into place – as if in a dream. Do we buy it? Bullfeathers.

We know the reality, weddings are hard work! And keeping a handle on all of it alone is harder still.  If you don’t want to be made completely crazy by it all, Ask for Help.  The beauty part is, everybody wants to help you.  They tell you that too – but in your “I must be the uber-bride” mode you don’t even hear the magic words at the end of practically every conversation you have.

 “Oh, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help with the wedding.” 

With a knee jerk no, you could be brushing off a retired lighting designer, your aunt who’s taken up calligraphy, or even your best friend’s wife who planned events for a museum.  Why miss out on a failsafe lighting company reference? or flawless placecards? Expert advice? Don’t send these people packing so you can keep up a facade of being in control.

To paraphrase Jerry Maguire, “Help them help you.”  Be open to delegating which means letting go of that color coded binder.  Well, opening it up at least.  Take heart. You never know when Martha and the other magazines might decide real brides who work for their fairy tale deserve column ink too.

Wishing you creativity, patience and style!

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My Little Wedding Planning Shop: Easy as A B C, 1 2 3!

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So is this a post advising you to play the Jackson 5 at your reception? No (although we do – because both ‘ABC’ and ‘I Want You Back’ are guaranteed floor fillers). This is a post about how you can make planning your wedding easier, easy as 1, 2, 3.

What with all there is to plan, do, choose, count, smell, tast, print, view and try on, a person could go crazy. How do you rein this in? We call it The Rule Of Three.

Think about all the main elements that will create your wedding experience, and pick the three that are most important to you.

To get your juices flowing, see the list in our poll at the end of this post (and weigh in while you’re at it!)

Got your 3? Good. Now comes the brave part – you’ve got to let the other pieces be less important. You don’t have to let them go completely, but delegate some things.

You can tell two of this bride's top three priorities were flowers and photography!

Like…

  • Let your man research bakeries – go along for the fun part-tasting!
  • Have Mom screen Flower Girl dresses online – you don’t need to see every red sash in existence.
  • Send your bridesmaids a color and the link to Wtoo, and set them free.

You ( rule of three choices: 1. dress, 2. photos 3.flowers)

  • discover a brilliant local dressmaker to make a gorgeous gown under budget, and throw in a matching veil for her new favorite client.
  • See photograpers in person to check the personality “fit” and do an engagement shoot.
  • Bond with the floral designer, and brainstorm drop dead beautiful decor beyond your imagination.

Trying to wrangle everything with invitation samples coming out your ears and DJ playlists on your blackberry, you’d truly want to elope. Try the rule of three and see how you do. Remember: one fabulous element makes the whole wedding fabulous both now, and in the memories of everyone who attends.

[polldaddy poll=5392493]
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The Cool Factor – Make Sure Your Wedding’s Not Lukewarm

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Wedding Photos
Image by Sean Choe via Flickr

OMG you guys! Wouldn’t it be cool if…

Oh the immortal “Wouldn’t It Be Cool If.” Sometimes the ideas are old as the hills, and some are genuinely unique and fun.  Then there is one last category: I call it “teetering.”  These are the ideas that given a slight nudge with a bendy straw would  fall into the chasm of “over my dead body.” But there’s a voice in my ear: done right, it could be utterly breathtaking/incredible/unforgettable.

In the end, it is not the planner who decides.  If the bride and groom love the idea, it grows wings.  So, bride and groom.  How do you decide if your grand vision  will be a rousing success, like this wedding entrance routine that went viral, warming hearts across the globe, or squirm inducing either now, or in ten years when you look back on this, the biggest moment of your life as a couple?

Things to think through / Questions to ask yourself:

1.  Check the health of your motive.  Is the amazing idea designed with the aim of becoming a viral video sensation? Some media pundits are starting to find this trend really tiresome, but that’s neither here nor there. Back to you. Is You-Tube fame-seeking really the right frame of mind for beginning your marriage? Don’t turn your rite of passage into a flash mob.  Let it be meaningful.

2.  Are you really and truly equally committed to the grand entrance via trapeze?  Or is one partner Barnum and Bailey bound and the other donning the sequins to be agreeable?  Talk to each others’ family and friends to get honest answers. You need to be a team.

3. Will your ‘Big Idea’ upset anyone in either of your families? Yes – it’s your day and all that, but weddings are intense moments as far as family dynamics go – and you are laying the groundwork for relationships that are yours to have and to hold, for better and for worse.  Let’s keep them for better by not ticking off your Mother In Law (on film no less) on day one.

4.  Try to fast forward 5, 10, 15 years.  Are you going to regret it? Weddings, at their essence, are timeless.  Fashion can date them (<cough> Princess Di) and so can gimmicky touches.  Like having a computer for an officiant.  When you reminisce about your wedding through the years, let it be “wasn’t it wonderful?” not “what were we thinking?”

5.  Keep in mind what everyone’s there for and KISS.  That stands for Keep It Simple, Silly! Everyone is coming to your wedding to share an important moment in your lives.  The “wow” factor really isn’t that crucial. If you relax, and enjoy each other, everyone present will follow suit. No bells, whistles or computer generated officiants required

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiK3Rs0nfGY]

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