Help and Advice

My Big Fat Greek Wedding part II: My Kid Sister’s Tiny Budget Greek Wedding

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Get Me To The Church On Time - Athens-Style
A couple on their way to a wedding in Athens. Courtesy of Flickr

As we hear all over the news, things are a little precarious in Greece at the moment.  So what does that have to do with us in the United States?  And why should it matter to brides planning a wedding?

As a drive down any formerly bustling Main Street will tell you, things are precarious for a great many people and businesses here too.  But for engaged folks, the desire to have a beautiful wedding lives on.  And while our celebrities mindlessly plan expensive celebrations that set the ‘ dream wedding ‘ bar abnormally high, couples create  detailed wedding budget spreadsheets to see if they can afford to have a wedding at all.

Here’s our message to any brides worried about the high costs of a wedding. More often than not, (and for sure in our case) vendors want to help you have your celebration.  We believe in weddings, and beauty and love, or we wouldn’t be involved in this crazy/wonderful business.  And without you – wedding vendors would, in fact, be out of business.  So bring us your budget; big, small or anywhere in between and we’ll let you know what your best bet is – even if we end up referring you on to a colleague.

I read this review recently of a stationery store that sneered at a young woman, assuming she wasn’t their type of client.  As I wrote a few weeks ago, we can’t assume anything – vendors about brides or vice versa – if we’re going to celebrate together. So, to quote Kool and the Gang, Celebrate, Come on!

-Dinah

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Workin’ 9 to 5 – At Something Other Than Planning Your Wedding

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my own office at work :-)
Remember - do some work at work!

What do you say when someone asks you what you do for a living? I’m guessing for 99% of you it’s not, “Oh I’m independently wealthy so I spend the work-week eating bon-bons and planning my wedding.” So that means there are brides in offices, retail establishments, and government jobs all over the country, brimming with news about your latest nuptial truimph or travail.  One word of advice:

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Guess what? Your co-workers are well aware you’re getting married. So is your boss. In this economy, we do not advise you to to keep reminding them that you’re really distracted by a big non-work project.  Surfing wedding websites during office hours is another way of pointing out that your focus is elsewhere for the next year or so.  And while that may be true, at least make an effort to show some enthusiasm for your work.

Take heart, little brides! One or two co-workers will want to live vicariously through you, and so inevitably dishing about flowers and dresses will occur.  But other than with Bridget in accounting, try to maintain the Separation of Work and Wedding.

Quick! Minimize the window! Here comes your manager!

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The Best Wedding Advice Ever. Period. Exclamation point. Clouds part and angels sing.

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Bride and women
Image by spaceodissey via Flickr

Cutting to the chase, now that the angelic chorus has weighed in, The Best Wedding Advice Ever: Ask for help.  Yes, it’s that simple.  Ask for help.

There’s a false image in the bridal media of the “perfectly organized” bride.  TV and magazines are full of brides with the color coded binders who’ve got everything mapped out down to the last rose petal.  Then there are the articles about “easy breezy” brides for whom everything just drops into place – as if in a dream. Do we buy it? Bullfeathers.

We know the reality, weddings are hard work! And keeping a handle on all of it alone is harder still.  If you don’t want to be made completely crazy by it all, Ask for Help.  The beauty part is, everybody wants to help you.  They tell you that too – but in your “I must be the uber-bride” mode you don’t even hear the magic words at the end of practically every conversation you have.

 “Oh, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help with the wedding.” 

With a knee jerk no, you could be brushing off a retired lighting designer, your aunt who’s taken up calligraphy, or even your best friend’s wife who planned events for a museum.  Why miss out on a failsafe lighting company reference? or flawless placecards? Expert advice? Don’t send these people packing so you can keep up a facade of being in control.

To paraphrase Jerry Maguire, “Help them help you.”  Be open to delegating which means letting go of that color coded binder.  Well, opening it up at least.  Take heart. You never know when Martha and the other magazines might decide real brides who work for their fairy tale deserve column ink too.

Wishing you creativity, patience and style!

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