etiquette

My Little Etiquette Shop: Places please! This is a rehearsal dinner, people!

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What the heck? Who needs to rehearse how to eat, right? May is here and from New York to San Francisco, wedding guests are digging through drawers trying to find invitation maps they buried under receipts and take-out menus.  Many will discover that they have been invited to a rehearsal dinner, whether or not they are in the wedding party.  We had some etiquette queries come in about rehearsals and the associated dinners, so we’re going to take them on. Do you have questions about being a wedding guest? Write us! We love questions, rehearsed or not.  MyLittleFlowerShopPS@gmail.com.  Please put the word “Etiquette” in your subject line.

Q:  HI MLFS,

Why was I invited to my friend’s Rehearsal Dinner? I’m not in the wedding party, and I’m not family.  Is it rude to decline the invitation?

-Barbara

A:   Well, Barbara, rehearsal dinners have changed over time.  Many are still intimate affairs where the people who are at the actual rehearsal go out to dinner.  Others, however, have become parties practically as elaborate as the weddings themselves.  Many couples have decided that with guests traveling from afar, it’s nice to invite out-of-towners to the dinner so as to have an activity their first night, and see friends and family.  Others choose to invite those closest to them who are not in the wedding party to join the group to recognize their special place in the bride or groom’s life. Regardless of what your friend’s reason was, it’s a nice invitation, and chances are the food will be better than at the Motel 6 coffee shop so hey – why not?  As to declining, no it’s not rude, as long as you actually decline according to the invitation’s instructions.  If it says to call your friend’s future Mother-in -Law, you should call her, and not just drop your friend an email.  People are dealing with caterers and the bride may not have time to communicate (or remember) all such details. She’s a little busy right now. And, needless to say, thank her FMIL for the invitation.

Let the toasting begin!  More on wedding guests to come.

Malin / Balestriere Rehearsal Dinner
Why am I here? For the party, of course! Photo by Sean O'Shaughnessy

Proms, Moms and Automobiles. No, that’s no good. Hmmmm.

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The title will continue to evolve.  In any case, we’re celebrating Moms and Proms this weekend at My Little Flower Shop. (A wedding too – note to self- order more white roses). Moms across the Valley (and the country!) will fill with pride, watching their kids stepping out on the town in their prom dresses and tuxedos.  Wait, they’ll be stepping into…Automobiles!  Hey! How about that! OK, a stretch. Back to the drawing board on the title.
What did your Mom whisper to you on your way out the door?  Here’s a distillation of some advice and wisdom My Little Flower Shop staff gleaned from our wise Moms once upon a time.  Feel free to pass any and all along to your little darlings for Prom Night 2011, in Palm Springs, Palm Desert, or all across these United States.
–Behave like a young lady/gentleman at dinner.  The other patrons of the restaurant aren’t paying to have dinner with a bunch of rowdy teenagers.
-Be polite to your date. You asked them/accepted the invitation for a reason. Don’t abandon them at a table and run off to be with your friends.
-Please don’t roll your eyes at Mom when she take lots of pictures. You’re going to love having them someday, so smile and have fun for the camera.
-Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, or let anyone push you too far. Carry enough cash for cab fare home, and you’ll always have an “out.”
Last but not least…
– Make memories. As Lee Ann Womack (also a Mom) put it so well:
“And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Celebrate your prom!
Photo by Sean McGrath - Lic. by Creative Commons
We’re here for any and all corsages, boutonnieres, and prom posies you might need.  Just call. (760)778 7111 (855)500-7111 (psssst…order something for Mom too).

Nice day for a white wedding? Victorian Fashion Slaves vs. those who tell the Queen to Kiss It

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Whatever happened to Billy Idol’s little sister, anyway?  Well, he voiced his opinions, but in the end, whether or not she wore white was entirely up to her.  Historically, white does symbolize purity.  So that’s why the Pope wears it.  But brides? That’s all Queen Victoria’s fault.  Prior to Victoria’s wedding to Albert, one simply wore one’s best dress down the aisle.  And everybody wore their dresses again. She was the first high profile bride to wear white.  So technically, every major designer, and 99.9% of brides are following Victorian bridal fashion trends rather than 2011 bridal fashion trends. Now purity is no longer signaled by your gown, and some gals just like a little color.  Reese Witherspoon was recently married in a pink dress (although IMHO, it was a little matchy-matchy with her skin tone for my taste, and her flowers seemed to match her hair…but we’ll deal with that another day).  There are women who decide to get married in orange, or deep purple, or whatever color makes them happy. What color flowers do we recommend when brides go rogue and tell Queen Victoria that her era is SO over? There’s nothing like a colorful dress to inspire great work.  Anything goes really – the color the adventurous gal chooses opens a thousand doors.  We generally advise though, (sorry Reese, you got steered astray) that you don’t match your bouquet to your hair.

Oh and by the way? Victoria had her dress restyled so she could get some more use out of it.  Now THAT’S a trend we could all get behind – especially on Earth Day.  Reduce, Re-use, Recycle your wedding gown!