etiquette

Being the ‘Loud and Obnoxious’ Person and Not Knowing It

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Wedding Guests 2
Image by mdhfc via Flickr

Over at Mom vs. Career, we found a blogger with admirable self awareness. Don’t you wish certain guests at your events had this ‘lightbulb moment’ before picking up their escort cards?

Planners, what are your best tips for wrangling the L&O guest?

Being the ‘Loud and Obnoxious’ Person and Not Knowing It August 24, 2011

So, I think I’m ‘that girl.’ The one who is loud and obnoxious. I noticed this during a meeting yesterday. I laughed a lot and loudly. My voice raised in volume while I was telling a story. I over-exaggerated with my inflection.The weird thing is that I don’t do that all the time. It’s usually only when I feel comfortable with certain groups of people. I guess that’s good, but I wonder how those groups of people view me when I am loud and obnoxious?I’ve never asked anyone. I just had this mini-revelation yesterday, so I haven’t had a chance to take a survey. Up to this point, it’s not something I’ve been able to control. It comes out naturally in certain settings. Maybe I should be thankful that I feel so comfortable with certain people. However, I wonder if sometimes I go too far.”

via Being the ‘Loud and Obnoxious’ Person and Not Knowing It.

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My Little Etiquette Shop: Should a Bride play Bob Barker if the Price Isn’t Right?

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Money. Whether you’re on team “Root of All Evils” or  more in the “Can’t Buy Love but Sure is Nice” camp, it is a source of worry for brides, grooms, and their families. This is a really good question – read on.
Q:  I went shopping with my sister for her wedding dress. When paying, she asked if it was the “best price” and if they could add any free accessories or alterations to “sweeten the deal.”  Then she did the same with the caterer.  She was politely declined, but it all made me quite uncomfortable. Is she leaving people whose help she needs with a bad taste in their mouths?

Wedding Budget Stress

A:  In theory, I get her thinking. So much in today’s marketplace is “on sale” or dicounted, so why not try and negotiate? You are correct though, that some vendors see that as a bit nervvy. Don’t worry about the rapport, as a Hospitality Sage once said, “until somebody throws something, any and all bride behavior comes with the territory.”
There’s a simple way to avoid having to bring Monte Hall on appointments, and to stay in your financial comfort zone: Be upfront with vendors about your budget. If they know the parameters, they can adjust their thinking accordingly and remove the need for any “wheeling and dealing.” They can also suggest  packages or specials they have. If you’re working with the A-TEAM of wedding professionals here in the Coachella Valley, all of us know how to take what you’ve got and turn it into “beautiful.”
With wedding businesses, keep this in mind about pricing. What we want is to provide a stable source of a reliable, high-quality service, in our case, beautiful flowers and flawless event design/coordination. When a bride signs with us, we’ve made a commitment to stay where we are, and do our best work for another year. If we discounted too deeply, we’d be unable to keep the promises we make. And keeping our word is important – especially when it means so much to our brides. We work with all types of budgets – and all our weddings, (and parties, corporate events, showers, bar/bat mitzvahs…) are beautiful.

bride and groom in gazebo
Have a great weekend!
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My Little Etiquette Shop: Shuffling Placecards is a Gamble – and the House always Wins

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Oh the poor bride and groom.  They slave away in the last busy weeks before their big day, trying to achieve that elusive goal: the perfect seating arrangement.  PlacecardThe one where feuding cousins are on opposite sides of the dance floor, and Uncle Carl the anesthesiologist plays wing man for the med student who’s chatting up a bridesmaid at the next table over. But when the Mr. & Mrs. enter to cheers and glide onto the dance floor, they look around and realize that their careful plotting has been horribly botched.

We know what’s happened.  For years guests have taken it upon themselves to “improve”  seating plans. If they aren’t sitting with a particular friend or family member they do what they believe is an innocuous thing; switch placecards, or “lose” escort cards.  They don’t think about the fact that their seating has been carefully considered. Event staff may intervene – but more often than not, they (wisely) decline to engage this type of personality so as not to ruin a lovely evening.

How can you help?  Simply put, sit where you’re asked.  Period.  No one stays in their assigned seats much after the entree anyway, it’s not going to kill you to wait until cake to catch up with your sorority sister across the room.

The “House Always Wins” part works like this:  karma wise, you’re sealing your fate of future event tables full of Mommies & Me, Aunts Who Can’t Hear, and Uncles Who Don’t Shut Up.  Plus you can count on word of your behavior getting back to the bride/groom or mothers thereof, enshrining your difficult reputation for the rest of your days.  Every Christmas Party, Baby Shower, Barbeque…you’re forever “the one who messed up the wedding.”  Are you good with that? No? Then reign in your inner maitre d’.  Really feel the need to seat people? Open a restaurant.

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