Advice

Minding our Ps, Our Qs, and Occasionally, Our Beeswax

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“Sunday Styles” is my favorite section of the New York Times. (No big mystery – that’s where all the wedding coverage is). It’s also home to the wise and fabulous Philip Galanes, writer of the ever-pithy “Social Qs” column, and now a Social Qs book. New material for the etiquette library!

I’ve used his columns as jumping off points before – like this chat about a sticky invitation situation, and so in honor of his new book, here’s a Social Q brides would be well advised to take!

R.S.V.P.? M.Y.O.B.

A friend asked why I don’t attend a weekly television-watching party at the home of a mutual acquaintance. I didn’t want to tell the truth: “I’m not invited.” I didn’t want to embarrass him or give the impression that I’m offended at being excluded. I’m not. How to reply?

Talya, Brooklyn

If your friend had thought about it for a millisecond, he might have realized there was a chance you hadn’t been asked. Note to the invited: Never assume that other folks were. You may hurt their feelings.

But that’s not the case here. So, be straightforward: “John didn’t invite me. But that’s O.K. I’m not much of a fan of ‘Toddlers (and Mascara and False Eyelashes) and Tiaras.’ ” If your pal feels a little red-faced, so be it. He may learn not to do it again.

Heed Philip’s call brides, maids, moms and friends.  With weddings turning into epic celebrations with pre-parties galore, if someone’s at the shower, it doesn’t mean she’ll be at the bachelorette, or the brunch after the wedding.  Hush up about who’ll be where lest you put your foot in your mouth.

Cheers to Philip on the new book, and here’s to all of us minding our Ps and Qs.

-Dinah


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Tossing the Bouquet Toss – All The Single Ladies Will Thank You.

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It’s an iconic image – the bride leaving the reception and tossing a bouquet into a cheering crowd of happy single gals.  In real life, when the DJ fires up the Beyoncé song and calls out all qualified bouquet catchers frequently, women of a certain age or mindset disappear into the woodwork.  Or the ladies room.  When I was on bridesmaid duty, I always found that was a perfect time to go sprinkle rose petals in the bridal suite.

An inspired bouquet. Let us inspire you!

So, how do you incorporate this tradition without setting your single friends’ teeth on edge? Here’s my favorite spin.  Instead of throwing your flowers at someone, which is a little hostile when you think about it, GIVE them away to a lady (or gentleman – we don’t judge) you love and wish to honor.  Grandma, Man of Honor,  childhood best friend,  you pick.

I’m betting there’s someone attending your wedding who’d be thrilled to pieces to be presented with a special posy.  And I can tell you from personal experience, there are girls who will be thrilled with the peace of not having their marital status paraded around the dance floor.

Love to all the Single Ladies!  And Love to that handsome fella who made me a Mrs!

-Dinah

Dinah, her GORGEOUS bouquet and her even MORE GORGEOUS husband.
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Head to toe! Let Your Whole Body talk! And other Drag Queen Wedding Beauty tips.

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Drag Queens are Fabulous.  I’ve been watching RuPaul’s Drag Race on Netflix, and Ru is beyond fabulous – she’s wise, elegant, and one heck of a make-up artist.  So here are some “Drag” tips gleaned that are gold for Brides (and maids, and Moms…and the occasional Groom).

1)   Accentuate the positive.  Find your best feature and flaunt it.  RuPaul accents her height, and her fabulous bone structure.  Find a dress that suits you, and your body type. Ru has award winning stylists, we can find you some too. In SoCal, head straight over to Desert Bride for expert counsel and assistance.

2)   Ignore all things Negative.  Drag queens frequently have overcome a lot to be happy with who they are and to be comfortable expressing themselves.  So once they get to that point, they are FUN and HAPPY.  Stay fun!  Depressed?  Put on Abba – maybe “Gimme gimme gimme (a man after midnight)” and lip sync for your sweetie.  You’ll both laugh – and laughter is good.

RuPaul, all crystals and confidence.

3)   Lashes, lashes, lashes.  This one’s fairly self explanatory – drag queens don’t go to Rite Aid without their fake lashes on, girlfriend, so you shouldn’t think about going down the aisle without yours. Once you see how they “pop” your look, you’ll thank me. Or Ru. Or both.

4)   Think creatively!  Do you think  the fashion world comes up with looks like the Sex and the City “bird on her head” wedding look? No – it comes from the fringe (read: drag queens, art school drop-outs,  nouveau bohos and assorted other creative types) and works it’ way into couture.  Trust me – Lady Bunny had a bird on her head long before SJP.

5)    Let your whole body talk. it’s a confidence thing.  When drag queens hit a stage or a runway, they’ve got a power, a confidence, an attitude that brides would do well do take a dollop of to add to their sugar and spice.  Nice is good, but Fabulous is great.

Work that aisle like a supermodel girls! (Turn to the left! Work! Turn to the Right!)

Sashay Chanté…

-Dinah