And in ring three, the triumphant return of Kim Kardashian to the Media Circus!

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I was saddened (although not surprised, see my prior blog on ‘Setting Yourself Up To Fail’) by the news of Kim Kardshian’s latest circus act – a divorce, mere weeks after the airing of her two part “fairy tale wedding” tv special. Why did she bother? Figuring in sponsorships, TV exposure, and a free exotic honeymoon, getting married was a good career move. Kris, bless his heart, was just a convenient warm body with the right anatomy.

Although those in the shallow end of the emotional pool may not understand, having a big fat wedding, Armenian or otherwise, for the wrong reasons is a serious no-no. Examine your motives.

  • Wanting a wedding is not reason enough to get married. The dress goes in a box, the cake is eaten, the birdseed goes, well, to the birds. It’s a beautiful day that only holds meaning if you mean it. If you want to play dress up, find somewhere to relive your days as Prom Queen, and hold out for true love.
  • “All my friends are doing it” doesn’t fly either. Keeping Up With The…Joneses is exhausting, and pointless, no matter how badly you want the Cuisinart, and how sick you are of being single. Being miserable and legally stuck is far worse.
  • No old maid nonsense. With scientific advances, and the thousands of children in this country needing adoptive homes, don’t think you’re up against a wall. This isn’t 1959. No one’s going to shun you.
  • Most importantly, don’t settle for what brilliant essayist Cynthia Heimel would call “lukewarm love.” If you’re walking down the aisle with someone, you should know with all your heart and with all your soul that this is The One. Not The One Who Can Get You The Best TV Deal.

The institution of marriage will survive the disrespect that reality TV heaps on it: from murderous millionaires, to bratty aspiring Bradys, to this kapitalist kalamity. Our poor blindsided NBA prince, however, may take a while to realize Keeping Away From rather than Keeping Up With the Kardashians is the best way to go.

Everything You Need To Know about Planning Your Wedding, You Learned at Costco

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Entrance of a typical Costco warehouse club.
Wedding Planning Lessons - In Bulk!

Wedding planning tips can be found everywhere – including our favorite Bulk Shopping paradise.

  • Going to Costco at the right time of day can make all the difference in the world.  We all prefer fully stocked shelves and manageable aisles free of screaming tots. Wedding planning lesson – schedule carefully.  Whether you’re deciding when to visit a bridal salon, or what month to get married, timing is everything.
  • Costco is a minefield of budget busting items.  You go in for soup chickens, and come out with a SodaStream machine, 3 new sweaters and a Burt’s Bees gift pak.  The solution (and wedding planning tip) is to have a plan.  Shop with a list, and a clear idea of what you’re looking for. Oh – and don’t go anywhere hungry.  Bad decisions come on empty stomachs.
  • Just because it’s at Costco, doesn’t mean it’s a good deal.  Oh yes – there are plenty of bargains, but you have to watch the numbers.  The same goes for wedding “bargains.”  Is that discounted dress worth it if the alterations cost more? Is the open bar package cheaper because it’s bottom shelf liquor?  Make sure you’re getting what you pay for, even at a discount.

Keep your eyes open for a deal, but don’t just pile everything in your cart.  And it never hurts to bring your own bags.

 

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My Little Advice Shop: Men and Holiday Shopping

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Brown Paper Packages Tied up with String
Image by Chiot’s Run via Flickr

We know. You hate holiday shopping. Women expect the world, so you roll Santa Style and try to find it for her on Christmas Eve. These days, there’s a better way, and it makes you look like a rock star under the tree. The key? Keeping an eye on the magazines and websites your honey likes.

  • All sorts of publications do “gift guides” in the December issue of their magazine/paper. Real Simple is a magazine with terrific taste, and detailed gift ideas for the different people in your life. The newspapers do them too, so keep an eye out.
  • Another option is a website like Red Envelope. They offer a curated selection of gifts to choose from as opposed to wandering the Internet, overwhelmed by choices. Their sale section has some great stuff right now.
  • Shop early, as featured items can sell out. Then relax, and wave at Santa as he goes by, instead of trying to keep up.   Shop nice, y’all!
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