Weddings

Weddings need to be a “should free” zone

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In the world of weddings, as in the rest of life, “should” is a dangerous word. As we head into engagement season, I want to address the concept of “should” as relates to wedding planning. A lot of advertising is aimed at to-be-weds about what they “should” do, wear, or even spend on their celebrations. You’ll be happier if you tune out those voices. Let’s talk about why.

If I had been the photographer, I'd have gotten closer to the beautiful bouquet. Photo by Kelly Mendoza
If I had been the photographer, I’d have gotten closer to the beautiful bouquet. Photo by Kelly Mendoza

Think about what ‘should” actually means. If you should, it means you aren’t. That what you are doing, being, eating, choosing, etc. is ill-considered, misguided and sometimes (depending on how dramatic your mother is) fatal. It could be that you’re not doing it right, or that you’re not doing it at all, but whatever it is, a “should” implies you are wrong and bad.

Even full of confidence and empowered by the fact that this YOUR wedding/life, being told that you aren’t doing something right starts to make you reconsider. “Maybe I should do/be whatever it is that I’m not. Should I have thought of that?” And so it becomes internal. Should means aren’t, and eventually it drills down to doubting who you are.

So skip the “shoulds” people! Tempted in conversation? Try:

  • A good option might be to…
  • You know, I had a friend who…
  • If it were me, I would…

Support your friends – to-be-weds and the general public. If it were me, I’d tell them you love them, too.

Be well, and love well.
-Dinah

Wedding Video Gone Bad

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This video knocked our socks off. You’ll take a look momentarily. First, what’s the lesson? Well there are two big ones.

1.    Choose your vendors carefully. 

It takes more than a meeting and deciding you “vibe” with a photographer.  You have to ask questions, find out their work style, and how you feel about it.  Maybe with some more questions, this couple would have learned these guys specialized in up close and personal ceremony shots and could have adjusted accordingly.

2.    The pastor is right – your wedding is not a photo shoot.  

Nor is it

-a runway show

-a botanical exhibition

-Dancing With The Stars,

-a gourmet dining experience

– a night at ‘da club.

Your big day may include elements of all those things, but at its heart, you’re getting married, and the ceremony deserves your attention and respect.

Amen.

Be well and love well.

-Dinah

Wedding Movie Of The Week!

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My Best Friend’s Wedding, starring Julia Roberts is a fine late 20th century example of an old Hollywood favorite: the wedding centered romantic comedy starring Hollywood’s “it” girl. that formula has been in existence almost as long as moving pictures themselves. Fine early examples “It Happened One Night” and “The Philadelphia Story” have previously appeared on the blog, one in our series one for its fashion (and soon in our series now that I realized its absence!)

My Best Friend’s Wedding is funny, colorful, poignant and stands out among the flimsy cardboard wedding movie copies that attempt to follow in its footsteps. Julia Roberts shines. And she’s still an “it” girl people, even living in Montana with her handsome lighting guy husband. Check out My Best Friend’s Wedding.