What Brides (and Event/Wedding Planners) can Learn from Extreme Cage Fighting

Chuck Liddell facing off against Rich Franklin...
Image via Wikipedia

What’s the one thing everybody knows about cage fighting? No holds barred. No rules. Can that apply to the bridal design world? Read on. And if you got to this blog by googling “cage fighting bride?” you have got to email me. Because that’s awesome. Etiquette books contain mountains of good advice- and we owe the people who write them a great debt of gratitude. Receiving line order and invitation wording – couldn’t do it without them. People notice sometimes though, that we don’t keep a lot of wedding planning books around the store. Happy to share why: we believe in the “Ultimate Fighting” school of wedding design. We operate by nobody’s rules but our own, and as far as we’re concerned, there are no rules.  That works for us on a few levels.

1)  There are no rules for us in the way we design.  Nothing is off the table, and so all our pieces are developed as individual ideas. We don’t do the cookie-cutter follow the trend thing.

2)  There are no fashion or style rules.  If a bride loves and wants a baby blue and pale yellow theme for her December wedding, we aren’t going to talk her into more “seasonal” colors. Velvet in summer, rhinestones in the morning, snowflakes in July…we color outside the lines.

"out of the box" Prom entryway display - La Quinta prom 2011

3)  There are no rules for who our clientele will be. We would never turn away a wedding for being too small.  Everyone’s celebration is important, and deserves beautiful wedding flowers. We take a budget, work out what can be done, and make it beautiful.

4)  Since we allow our ideas to develop from the ground up, it passes on the “no rules” ethos to our brides and quinceaneras.  They can tell us what they truly dreamed- not just what they think we can do or what the girl next door had at her event. We really listen – we don’t impose a vision of how things “should” be.

So as you plan (your wedding, or your client’s), make sure you’re following your instincts, your dreams and your heart.  Don’t bother so much with rules.  And the only holding that matters, is that of hands, and hearts.

bride and groom in gazebo

Father of the Bride

Cover of "Father of the Bride (15th Anniv...
Cover via Amazon

As you may have seen, the house used in the 80s version of ‘Father of the Bride’ is for sale.  So we pose the question: does the 21st Century wedding Dad fit the Hollywood mold? Are there battalions of Steve Martins stumbling their way through the planning process, and clutching their chests at the costs? Or have fathers, and weddings, not to mention the world, changed? OK, so it’s a rhetorical question. Of course, things have changed. But that Martin Short wedding planner character* Franck, like diamonds, is forever.

These days, a father’s role in his daughter or son’s wedding is determined less by convention than by the choices of the couple.  If they’ve decided to fund the entire affair on their own, all Dad needs to do is show up on time wearing what he’s asked. Planning wise, suggestions are just that. Suggestions.

We’re always impressed, on the other hand, with Fathers who hand their sons and daughters a contribution towards a wedding, and trust that the couple will be good stewards of their money.  We’ve never met one such couple who wanted anything but to make their parents proud. As one groom put it ” We want them to see we made good choices with the resources they gave us.”

Bride/Groom: Your Dad loves you, and he’s showing that love by helping create one of the most special occasions you’ll ever plan. Let him speak, and listen closely. If he objects to the zombie shooters, go gin-and-tonic and run wild with another element -like funky favors. It’s about mutual respect. Give and take. Good skills to hone for your married life.

Some things don’t change.  There is still chest clutching, and colorful event planners still amuse people all over the country*. Ultimately, Dads love their kids, and really only care about one thing at the wedding: that it be the start of a happily married life. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Especially to the wonderful Fathers and Grandfather of a certain 2010 Bride who know who they are.

*Franck Eggelhoffer is based on a celebrity florist/event designer currently working in West Hollywood.  If you ever meet him, you’ll know because Mr. Short is dead-on. Franck appears about 2 minutes into this clip. Also note that SVU’s favorite criminal profiler did time in the events industry. Fabolos!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKFtRedJxTw&w=425&h=349]

Father of the Bride

Cover of "Father of the Bride (15th Anniv...
Cover via Amazon

As you may have seen, the house used in the 80s version of ‘Father of the Bride’ is for sale.  So we pose the question: does the 21st Century wedding Dad fit the Hollywood mold? Are there battalions of Steve Martins stumbling their way through the planning process, and clutching their chests at the costs? Or have fathers, and weddings, not to mention the world, changed? OK, so it’s a rhetorical question. Of course, things have changed. But that Martin Short wedding planner character* Franck, like diamonds, is forever.

These days, a father’s role in his daughter or son’s wedding is determined less by convention than by the choices of the couple.  If they’ve decided to fund the entire affair on their own, all Dad needs to do is show up on time wearing what he’s asked. Planning wise, suggestions are just that. Suggestions.

We’re always impressed, on the other hand, with Fathers who hand their sons and daughters a contribution towards a wedding, and trust that the couple will be good stewards of their money.  We’ve never met one such couple who wanted anything but to make their parents proud. As one groom put it ” We want them to see we made good choices with the resources they gave us.”

Bride/Groom: Your Dad loves you, and he’s showing that love by helping create one of the most special occasions you’ll ever plan. Let him speak, and listen closely. If he objects to the zombie shooters, go gin-and-tonic and run wild with another element -like funky favors. It’s about mutual respect. Give and take. Good skills to hone for your married life.

Some things don’t change.  There is still chest clutching, and colorful event planners still amuse people all over the country*. Ultimately, Dads love their kids, and really only care about one thing at the wedding: that it be the start of a happily married life. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Especially to the wonderful Fathers and Grandfather of a certain 2010 Bride who know who they are.

*Franck Eggelhoffer is based on a celebrity florist/event designer currently working in West Hollywood.  If you ever meet him, you’ll know because Mr. Short is dead-on. Franck appears about 2 minutes into this clip. Also note that SVU’s favorite criminal profiler did time in the events industry. Fabolos!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKFtRedJxTw&w=425&h=349]