No, the holidays sure do take things up a notch at home. Something about coming home to be merry and bright is exhausting. And when we’re tired, the universal family nonsense ( or as we say in yiddish, mishegas) gets amplified, and suddenly it’s an episode of Days of Our Lives, without the funny window washer guy and the evil twin cheerleaders. Holidays are just the worst for family drama.
Unfortunately, for families with daytime Emmy hopes, weddings can be worse. If you are engaged, and expecting a volatile Week coming up take advantage of it. Pull aside the worst offenders, and point out how their behavior upsets you. Try to use “I” statements, and do not be accusatory. Then add “I really hope not to experience that on my wedding day.” Hopefully something will click, and your wedding will be more silver screen, and less soap opera.
It’s an iconic image – the bride leaving the reception and tossing a bouquet into a cheering crowd of happy single gals. In real life, when the DJ fires up the Beyoncé song and calls out all qualified bouquet catchers frequently, women of a certain age or mindset disappear into the woodwork. Or the ladies room. When I was on bridesmaid duty, I always found that was a perfect time to go sprinkle rose petals in the bridal suite.
An inspired bouquet. Let us inspire you!
So, how do you incorporate this tradition without setting your single friends’ teeth on edge? Here’s my favorite spin. Instead of throwing your flowers at someone, which is a little hostile when you think about it, GIVE them away to a lady (or gentleman – we don’t judge) you love and wish to honor. Grandma, Man of Honor, childhood best friend, you pick.
I’m betting there’s someone attending your wedding who’d be thrilled to pieces to be presented with a special posy. And I can tell you from personal experience, there are girls who will be thrilled with the peace of not having their marital status paraded around the dance floor.
Drag Queens are Fabulous. I’ve been watching RuPaul’s Drag Race on Netflix, and Ru is beyond fabulous – she’s wise, elegant, and one heck of a make-up artist. So here are some “Drag” tips gleaned that are gold for Brides (and maids, and Moms…and the occasional Groom).
1) Accentuate the positive. Find your best feature and flaunt it. RuPaul accents her height, and her fabulous bone structure. Find a dress that suits you, and your body type. Ru has award winning stylists, we can find you some too. In SoCal, head straight over to Desert Bride for expert counsel and assistance.
2) Ignore all things Negative. Drag queens frequently have overcome a lot to be happy with who they are and to be comfortable expressing themselves. So once they get to that point, they are FUN and HAPPY. Stay fun! Depressed? Put on Abba – maybe “Gimme gimme gimme (a man after midnight)” and lip sync for your sweetie. You’ll both laugh – and laughter is good.
RuPaul, all crystals and confidence.
3) Lashes, lashes, lashes. This one’s fairly self explanatory – drag queens don’t go to Rite Aid without their fake lashes on, girlfriend, so you shouldn’t think about going down the aisle without yours. Once you see how they “pop” your look, you’ll thank me. Or Ru. Or both.
4) Think creatively! Do you think the fashion world comes up with looks like the Sex and the City “bird on her head” wedding look? No – it comes from the fringe (read: drag queens, art school drop-outs, nouveau bohos and assorted other creative types) and works it’ way into couture. Trust me – Lady Bunny had a bird on her head long before SJP.
5) Let your whole body talk. it’s a confidence thing. When drag queens hit a stage or a runway, they’ve got a power, a confidence, an attitude that brides would do well do take a dollop of to add to their sugar and spice. Nice is good, but Fabulous is great.
Work that aisle like a supermodel girls! (Turn to the left! Work! Turn to the Right!)
