Month: June 2011

Father of the Bride

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Cover of "Father of the Bride (15th Anniv...
Cover via Amazon

As you may have seen, the house used in the 80s version of ‘Father of the Bride’ is for sale.  So we pose the question: does the 21st Century wedding Dad fit the Hollywood mold? Are there battalions of Steve Martins stumbling their way through the planning process, and clutching their chests at the costs? Or have fathers, and weddings, not to mention the world, changed? OK, so it’s a rhetorical question. Of course, things have changed. But that Martin Short wedding planner character* Franck, like diamonds, is forever.

These days, a father’s role in his daughter or son’s wedding is determined less by convention than by the choices of the couple.  If they’ve decided to fund the entire affair on their own, all Dad needs to do is show up on time wearing what he’s asked. Planning wise, suggestions are just that. Suggestions.

We’re always impressed, on the other hand, with Fathers who hand their sons and daughters a contribution towards a wedding, and trust that the couple will be good stewards of their money.  We’ve never met one such couple who wanted anything but to make their parents proud. As one groom put it ” We want them to see we made good choices with the resources they gave us.”

Bride/Groom: Your Dad loves you, and he’s showing that love by helping create one of the most special occasions you’ll ever plan. Let him speak, and listen closely. If he objects to the zombie shooters, go gin-and-tonic and run wild with another element -like funky favors. It’s about mutual respect. Give and take. Good skills to hone for your married life.

Some things don’t change.  There is still chest clutching, and colorful event planners still amuse people all over the country*. Ultimately, Dads love their kids, and really only care about one thing at the wedding: that it be the start of a happily married life. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Especially to the wonderful Fathers and Grandfather of a certain 2010 Bride who know who they are.

*Franck Eggelhoffer is based on a celebrity florist/event designer currently working in West Hollywood.  If you ever meet him, you’ll know because Mr. Short is dead-on. Franck appears about 2 minutes into this clip. Also note that SVU’s favorite criminal profiler did time in the events industry. Fabolos!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKFtRedJxTw&w=425&h=349]

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Wait a minute Mr. Postman…I’ve never been to Lord &Taylor. Why do I get their catalog?

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Williams-Sonoma's primary and West Coast flags...
Williams Sonoma's Flagship in San Francisco
Opening the mailbox sometimes can be overwhelming as a wedding professional. We get ads for every new wedding product imaginable from really gorgeous new dresses to dreadful things like bridal toilet decor. (We passed on that, creative though it was).
New brides-to-be also are surprised to find themselves drowning in mail, particularly after creating bridal registries.  Everywhere you go, someone (legitimately) needs your name and address, and suddenly you’re getting catalogs from every store under the sun. Some of them are cool!  Before you go to the bridal salon, it’s good to find a few foundation garments that work for you to bring along, so that Bare Necessities catalog that showed up could be handy.  Williams-Sonoma, Macy’s, Crate and Barrel, if you haven’t firmed up all your registries, maybe these catalogs will help you figure out a few more things you want to add.  But then you start seeing CB2, Pottery Barn, and Restoration Hardware, and then Design Within Reach, the Home Decorator’s collection…and it eventually devolves into Country Curtains. Way too much mail order decor. You don’t need all of that, and neither does the environment.  But they keep coming.  And as the companies sell their lists, you get more and more.
There is a remedy:  a brilliant non-profit called  Catalog Choice . They keep your in-box manageable and give the forests a fighting chance.  They work with all sorts of junk mail – more than the name implies.  You can keep the stores you want, and stop the ones you don’t.   All from one easy to use dashboard.  For free!
After all, your mailbox needs room for all those phonebook sized bridal mags.  Plus, one of your great grand-kids might want an outdoor wedding of their own some day.  Let’s leave them some trees, shall we?

Wait a minute Mr. Postman…I’ve never been to Lord &Taylor. Why do I get their catalog?

by
Williams-Sonoma's primary and West Coast flags...
Williams Sonoma's Flagship in San Francisco
Opening the mailbox sometimes can be overwhelming as a wedding professional. We get ads for every new wedding product imaginable from really gorgeous new dresses to dreadful things like bridal toilet decor. (We passed on that, creative though it was).
New brides-to-be also are surprised to find themselves drowning in mail, particularly after creating bridal registries.  Everywhere you go, someone (legitimately) needs your name and address, and suddenly you’re getting catalogs from every store under the sun. Some of them are cool!  Before you go to the bridal salon, it’s good to find a few foundation garments that work for you to bring along, so that Bare Necessities catalog that showed up could be handy.  Williams-Sonoma, Macy’s, Crate and Barrel, if you haven’t firmed up all your registries, maybe these catalogs will help you figure out a few more things you want to add.  But then you start seeing CB2, Pottery Barn, and Restoration Hardware, and then Design Within Reach, the Home Decorator’s collection…and it eventually devolves into Country Curtains. Way too much mail order decor. You don’t need all of that, and neither does the environment.  But they keep coming.  And as the companies sell their lists, you get more and more.
There is a remedy:  a brilliant non-profit called  Catalog Choice . They keep your in-box manageable and give the forests a fighting chance.  They work with all sorts of junk mail – more than the name implies.  You can keep the stores you want, and stop the ones you don’t.   All from one easy to use dashboard.  For free!
After all, your mailbox needs room for all those phonebook sized bridal mags.  Plus, one of your great grand-kids might want an outdoor wedding of their own some day.  Let’s leave them some trees, shall we?