bride

The Best Wedding Advice Ever. Period. Exclamation point. Clouds part and angels sing.

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Bride and women
Image by spaceodissey via Flickr

Cutting to the chase, now that the angelic chorus has weighed in, The Best Wedding Advice Ever: Ask for help.  Yes, it’s that simple.  Ask for help.

There’s a false image in the bridal media of the “perfectly organized” bride.  TV and magazines are full of brides with the color coded binders who’ve got everything mapped out down to the last rose petal.  Then there are the articles about “easy breezy” brides for whom everything just drops into place – as if in a dream. Do we buy it? Bullfeathers.

We know the reality, weddings are hard work! And keeping a handle on all of it alone is harder still.  If you don’t want to be made completely crazy by it all, Ask for Help.  The beauty part is, everybody wants to help you.  They tell you that too – but in your “I must be the uber-bride” mode you don’t even hear the magic words at the end of practically every conversation you have.

 “Oh, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help with the wedding.” 

With a knee jerk no, you could be brushing off a retired lighting designer, your aunt who’s taken up calligraphy, or even your best friend’s wife who planned events for a museum.  Why miss out on a failsafe lighting company reference? or flawless placecards? Expert advice? Don’t send these people packing so you can keep up a facade of being in control.

To paraphrase Jerry Maguire, “Help them help you.”  Be open to delegating which means letting go of that color coded binder.  Well, opening it up at least.  Take heart. You never know when Martha and the other magazines might decide real brides who work for their fairy tale deserve column ink too.

Wishing you creativity, patience and style!

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My Little Wedding Planning Shop: Easy as A B C, 1 2 3!

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So is this a post advising you to play the Jackson 5 at your reception? No (although we do – because both ‘ABC’ and ‘I Want You Back’ are guaranteed floor fillers). This is a post about how you can make planning your wedding easier, easy as 1, 2, 3.

What with all there is to plan, do, choose, count, smell, tast, print, view and try on, a person could go crazy. How do you rein this in? We call it The Rule Of Three.

Think about all the main elements that will create your wedding experience, and pick the three that are most important to you.

To get your juices flowing, see the list in our poll at the end of this post (and weigh in while you’re at it!)

Got your 3? Good. Now comes the brave part – you’ve got to let the other pieces be less important. You don’t have to let them go completely, but delegate some things.

You can tell two of this bride's top three priorities were flowers and photography!

Like…

  • Let your man research bakeries – go along for the fun part-tasting!
  • Have Mom screen Flower Girl dresses online – you don’t need to see every red sash in existence.
  • Send your bridesmaids a color and the link to Wtoo, and set them free.

You ( rule of three choices: 1. dress, 2. photos 3.flowers)

  • discover a brilliant local dressmaker to make a gorgeous gown under budget, and throw in a matching veil for her new favorite client.
  • See photograpers in person to check the personality “fit” and do an engagement shoot.
  • Bond with the floral designer, and brainstorm drop dead beautiful decor beyond your imagination.

Trying to wrangle everything with invitation samples coming out your ears and DJ playlists on your blackberry, you’d truly want to elope. Try the rule of three and see how you do. Remember: one fabulous element makes the whole wedding fabulous both now, and in the memories of everyone who attends.

[polldaddy poll=5392493]
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My Little Advice Shop: Bridesmaid Blindspots – Avoiding a Friendship Crash

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You have the ring and you’ve told your family. The next step many brides take is to select their attendants. These women (and sometimes men) will be an integral part of the next year of your life, and it is important to choose wisely.

Brides who choose their maids without forethought often end up with attendants who are not up to the task, or who are initially excited, but lose interest in participating as the big day approaches. Even worse, brides can lose friends in the stressful situations that can arise as the wedding is planned. All the drama is easily avoided if you select your wedding party carefully. Here are five tips to help you avoid inviting conflict down the aisle:

1. Take your time. Immediately after he proposes may seem like the perfect moment to ask your friends to stand up for you, but it is wiser to share the news of the engagement without raising the subject of the wedding party. Your emotions will be running high, so wait for things to settle down before making any decisions. Keep in mind, while you can always ask someone to be in your wedding, it is not an invitation you can take back.

 

2. Think about your friends’ life situations. Is one of your candidates already committed to two other weddings this year? She may be relieved just being one of your guests. A friend working three jobs to pay off her credit cards? Maybe now isn’t the time to ask her to buy a pricey dress and a plane ticket. The same consideration should apply to people with demanding schedules, and/or small children. These friends can still be included in the planning, and can be lifesavers with tasks like monitoring the guest book, or handing out programs.

3. Contemplate your maids as a group. Will everyone get along? It’s wise to think about how they will work together. If two of your close friends aren’t speaking, don’t let them turn your wedding into an episode of ‘The Hills.’ Ask one to be a bridesmaid, and invite the other to do a reading, or participate in another way. The same goes for feuding relatives, and ex co-workers on shaky ground.

Two bridesmaids and an honor attendant. The perfect support team for this bride.

4. Remember, although being a bridesmaid is an honor, it is also a job with responsibilities. If you will need a lot of help, make sure to select one or two bridesmaids you can really count on to hold everything together. Although you love her, the friend who skipped off to Bali the night before her IRS audit may not be a wise choice.

5. Lastly, don’t let anyone pressure you to include someone you wouldn’t have picked on your own. Attendant spots are not guaranteed to women whose weddings you were in, nor to your fiancé’s cousin twice removed (no matter what his Mother says). Your bridesmaids are your pillars of strength during the wedding planning process, and you want to be enthusiastic about each of the wonderful friends who accompany you down the aisle. Resentment and guilt have no place at the altar on your wedding day.

As you pick your attendants, follow your heart, but don’t lose your head. Keeping these points in mind, you will be on your way to creating an enthusiastic, supportive, and helpful bridal party.

 

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*this original article was written by our blogger for WeddingChannel.com, where it appeared during the Internet’s Pleistocene era.