Minding our Ps, Our Qs, and Occasionally, Our Beeswax

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“Sunday Styles” is my favorite section of the New York Times. (No big mystery – that’s where all the wedding coverage is). It’s also home to the wise and fabulous Philip Galanes, writer of the ever-pithy “Social Qs” column, and now a Social Qs book. New material for the etiquette library!

I’ve used his columns as jumping off points before – like this chat about a sticky invitation situation, and so in honor of his new book, here’s a Social Q brides would be well advised to take!

R.S.V.P.? M.Y.O.B.

A friend asked why I don’t attend a weekly television-watching party at the home of a mutual acquaintance. I didn’t want to tell the truth: “I’m not invited.” I didn’t want to embarrass him or give the impression that I’m offended at being excluded. I’m not. How to reply?

Talya, Brooklyn

If your friend had thought about it for a millisecond, he might have realized there was a chance you hadn’t been asked. Note to the invited: Never assume that other folks were. You may hurt their feelings.

But that’s not the case here. So, be straightforward: “John didn’t invite me. But that’s O.K. I’m not much of a fan of ‘Toddlers (and Mascara and False Eyelashes) and Tiaras.’ ” If your pal feels a little red-faced, so be it. He may learn not to do it again.

Heed Philip’s call brides, maids, moms and friends.  With weddings turning into epic celebrations with pre-parties galore, if someone’s at the shower, it doesn’t mean she’ll be at the bachelorette, or the brunch after the wedding.  Hush up about who’ll be where lest you put your foot in your mouth.

Cheers to Philip on the new book, and here’s to all of us minding our Ps and Qs.