Millionaire Matchmaking, Bachelorettes, and those crazy housewives

Reality TV is a fact of life these days. Finding your Mr. Or Ms. Right on national television? I’m pretty sure that’s official country song wrong place number 23 to look for love. There are, however, things to be learned from the seekers of everlasting happiness and romance in prime time.

Patty Stanger, “The Millionaire Matchmaker” on Bravo, spends an hour a week matching up difficult personalities. The editing surely makes things a) more amusing and b) less frustrating than they appear in the tiny mirror on the side of our guilty-pleasure-mobiles. But Patty does have some valuable things to say (and some funny ones to be sure).

The most important advice I’ve heard her give is “make love a priority and love will come.” the same needs to be true after love has been found. When planning your wedding, love still has to be the priority so that it will know how to stick around.

The Bachelorette is incomprehensible to me, personally. It’s some perverse version of sorority rush with all the catty parts and none of the redeeming sisterhood. If you can learn anything from this one, it’s be careful what you wish for. And for goodness sake, don’t wish to be locked up in a house full of weepy overly made up, emotionally underdeveloped girls.

Last but not least we have the Unsinkable Kim Wozniak, of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. She found her latest football player love at a charity event she was attending to support another housewife’s penchant for dancing badly in public. And now she’s (on the show) about to pop with a new baby boy. Now that’s one way to make love stick around

The reality tv trend has got to hit a wall at some point. Let’s keep the super glam wedding shows and dispense with the drama. Is anybody with me?

Where’s my remote?

-Dinah

And in ring three, the triumphant return of Kim Kardashian to the Media Circus!

I was saddened (although not surprised, see my prior blog on ‘Setting Yourself Up To Fail’) by the news of Kim Kardshian’s latest circus act – a divorce, mere weeks after the airing of her two part “fairy tale wedding” tv special. Why did she bother? Figuring in sponsorships, TV exposure, and a free exotic honeymoon, getting married was a good career move. Kris, bless his heart, was just a convenient warm body with the right anatomy.

Although those in the shallow end of the emotional pool may not understand, having a big fat wedding, Armenian or otherwise, for the wrong reasons is a serious no-no. Examine your motives.

  • Wanting a wedding is not reason enough to get married. The dress goes in a box, the cake is eaten, the birdseed goes, well, to the birds. It’s a beautiful day that only holds meaning if you mean it. If you want to play dress up, find somewhere to relive your days as Prom Queen, and hold out for true love.
  • “All my friends are doing it” doesn’t fly either. Keeping Up With The…Joneses is exhausting, and pointless, no matter how badly you want the Cuisinart, and how sick you are of being single. Being miserable and legally stuck is far worse.
  • No old maid nonsense. With scientific advances, and the thousands of children in this country needing adoptive homes, don’t think you’re up against a wall. This isn’t 1959. No one’s going to shun you.
  • Most importantly, don’t settle for what brilliant essayist Cynthia Heimel would call “lukewarm love.” If you’re walking down the aisle with someone, you should know with all your heart and with all your soul that this is The One. Not The One Who Can Get You The Best TV Deal.

The institution of marriage will survive the disrespect that reality TV heaps on it: from murderous millionaires, to bratty aspiring Bradys, to this kapitalist kalamity. Our poor blindsided NBA prince, however, may take a while to realize Keeping Away From rather than Keeping Up With the Kardashians is the best way to go.

My Little Marital Advice Shop: Setting Yourself Up To Fail (cough – Kim Kardashian)

Kim Kardashian at the 2009 Tribeca Film Festiv...
Mrs. Humphries

Yahoo’s OMG! big scoop today – Kim Kardashian Says Married Life So Far Has ‘Not Been Ideal’

I have three reactions.  From three perspectives.

1)  Perspective: Jewish Grandmother

Ideal? Who ever said anything about ideal? This is marriage sweetheart!  It takes work. And patience.  And matzoh ball soup.

2)  Perspective: Mine ( a year into a very happy marriage to a wonderful husband)

During wedding planning, don’t fall too deep into Ponies & Rainbows fairy-tale land.  They sweep up the rose petals, and suddenly there’s this thing called day-to-day life  If you’ve been obsessed with being the Princess Bride, the turning back into a pumpkin part is rough.

3) Perspective: your average fourth grader

Um, how does she expect things to be good? She’s making her new husband live with her sister, her baby, and the guy who’s the baby’s dad.  And they’re on TV.

Bottom line?  Know that life is never “ideal” to begin with, and you’re a hundred miles ahead of Kim Kardashian.

Hasta la blogsta-

Dinah