maid of honor

You, Your Family, and Your Wedding.

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Your family's right behind you, all the way. For this bride, literally!

By their nature, most weddings (the exceptions being these excercises in opulent navel gazing and their brethren) are about celebrating the family. Yours, his, and the great big new one that just came together.

But making planning the event a family affair makes a lot of brides break out in hives.  And it’s understandable. There are always enough opinions to go around, and when some of them come from people who drive you a little over the edge to begin with, things can get a little tense.  How can’t however, shut everyone out, particularly if they are helping pay for your big day.  Here are a few ways to integrate the bunch into your plans without going bananas.

  • Supermodel, Work!  Nothing makes female relatives feel more “in” on the process than a trip to the bridal salons to watch you do your best runway walk in gorgeous gowns.  It doesn’t have to be “the” time you plan to buy, or even “the” store you plan to visit.  Make an appointment, and try on a variety of shapes and styles.  Even better, let each woman who’s with you pick a dress for you to try.
  • Scavenger Hunt.  Have you been looking for ¾ inch gold ribbon? Rhinestone swizzle sticks? Is Aunt Sue on your last nerve about how you’re not organized properly? Send her on a treasure hunt for those last items you need that are hard to find, or available only at that one store on the other side of town.  She’ll feel useful, and you’ll get some peace and quiet.
  • Keep the content current on BNN – The Bridal News Network.  There are going to be people who you’re not in touch with daily who’ll want to feel like insiders.  Whether it’s a weekly call to Grandma, or a blog for far-flung sorority sisters, make sure that those who want news get it.

Families go a little haywire when it comes to weddings. But they love you, and are only making you crazy because they want to share this special experience, too. Handle as you do all things you love – with care.

Care well, and love well.

-Dinah

 

 

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Friends Don’t Let Friends go Into Debt To Be A Bridesmaid

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It’s your day, Bride, no question about it.  But take time to think about your friends and their circumstances.  Chances are you know all too well how expensive it can get being a bridesmaid, or even just being a friend-of-the-bride, what with showers, bachelorettes, wedding gifts…it adds up.  Here are some “dos and don’ts” for keeping your friends feelings and finances in mind.

DON’T

  • Keep Up With The Jolies.  Yes, we all read the magazines of celebrity excesses and glamorous getaways, but celebrate in a way all your gals can afford.  Does your entire gaggle of girls need to go to Puerto Rico for a long bachelorette weekend? Does your shower need to be at the Ritz? Keep your expectations within everyone’s budget.
  • Have a Surprise Party.  No one likes expensive surprises.  When your maids find out on wedding day that they owe $150 plus tip for hair and make-up (that is “optional,” but everyone else is doing it), you can’t expect they’ll be feeling celebratory.
Nora and Julie - the world's greatest bridesmaids

DO

  • Be choosy (in a good way). Pay attention when choosing your wedding party.  Did your cousin just get laid off? Does your best friend have college loans up the wazoo? If you think someone might feel less than honored – ask her in a neutral way that allows a graceful “out.”
  • Adopt an attitude of gratitude! Thank everyone.  This seems like a no-brainer, but tell everyone how much you appreciate the love and support.  The more your friends hear this during the lead up to your wedding, the better the experience will be for everyone!

 There you have it.  Keep your friendships together, and everyone’s wallet (relatively) intact.

 Be well, and love well!

 -Dinah

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My Little Wedding Tips: Bridesmaid Bulletin – A Happy Bride Isn’t Hungry

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We’ve been tweeting a little today about snacks for the big day – essential to achieving bright eyes and that big smile down the aisle and beyond.  While we encourage Brides to plan ahead, we also advise maids to consider keeping the bride supplied with appropriate light munchies one of your wedding day duties, right up there with your classic  bridal emergency kit with aspirin/extra hose/clear nail polish..you know the drill. (one addition we recommend that we don’t see on all the normal lists: white duct tape. Does wonders in dress situations).

Some snack thoughts.

DON’T GIVE THE BRIDE (for the sake of the dress and all that is holy)

  • Anything that makes you feel like you need to wipe your hands off afterwards
  • Anything that drips, melts, or oozes (definitely no chocolate)!
  • Anything too strong tasting (spicy, garlicky, etc)
  • Anything she hates/might be allergic to.  Check with her in advance!
  • Dry, unsalted nuts such as almonds or walnuts.

DO KEEP ON HAND

    • A planned time for a small sandwich or salad with chopped egg BEFORE the dress/makeup go on.
    • Lots of water – and straws for sipping without disturbing make-up/hair
    • healthy, portable, small serving snacks: baby carrots, almonds, string cheese.  Nature Valley granola bars are great too. No fancy flavors – just the plain ones.

Healthy snack

Last, we know that some in some families and some cultures there is a toast or drink before the ceremony.  We encourage brides and their maids to sip, and wait until after the formalities to celebrate.  Be present for this moment – it’s a big one.

Snack on, everyone!